Thanks for thinking of me. I have been swamped between work and my grandbaby being in the hospital consumed my weekend too. She and my daughter came home yesterday. My daughter had spent the night with the baby every night since Thurday night. It was a virus. I hope you are doing well. Hopefully I can catch up with you guys today. Hugs, Sue
Robin - he is doing okay. He is now watching alot sermons on television. Things are bothering him about his past, I can tell. He is still sleeping alot. Wants pork chops, this and that, but once he has them, there is something wrong or he just isn't as hungry as he thought. Once and a while he will say to me, "this is a winner" as though I should be grateful he likes something I made. It's actually rather insulting and he did this to my mother all of their married life. How is your father doing? How are you? Sue
Gosh Sue how strange our father's are doing exactly the same things. Dad listens to religious music, and sermons all day long, sleeps or casts orders too. Sarcasim has increased since his hospital stay, as well as his dementia. Seems very disoriented. To boot he is up all night, sleeps all day, and then expects breakfast now at 5:30~ <sigh> I continue setting the boundaries, and reminding him that he is lucky to be here, but truthfully he isn't getting it, and I suppose he never will. As tired and cranky as I am today, I remind myself I am not in my father's shoes, nor he in mine. Spending a lot of time online, outside, or on the phone today, taking care of ME. hugs friend, Robin
I am glad Robin posted a lookout for you.. Interesting that your dad is watching more sermons and things.. I believe there sleeping is not only the body tired from the physical ailments but an opportunity when they are connecting with loved ones and guides from the other side.. and this may be one of the reasons for watching these types of programs.. when life becomes so simplified, I believe there is a lot of reflection on one's life.. and there is a coming to terms with so much.. letting go, forgiving, asking to be forgiven etc.
Don't take the things he says personally.. especially if you think they are insulting .. you have given him so much love and such good care.. and in his good moments, you both have had great healing and wonderful times.. and I promise you there will be even more.. keep your heart opened angel....
I am sorry you are having a tough day Robin. Hope it gets better soon. Yes, it is very strange that they act so similar. My father bounces back and forth too, so hard to know what is really happening. Hope you get lots of fresh air today. Hugs, Sue
Hi Gail. Wow, I never thought of that. The guiding. But you know, I can't help but hear the sermons sometimes (his TV is soooo loud) and the one he turned on spoke of treating others as you would want to be treated. It went deeper into speaking of women who cooked all day and sat down only to hear their husbands say, "what's that" in a sarcastic tone. (Like the old days). He talked about not saying to your children "because I said so." And I thought to myself, this sermon was customer made him! But then I am sure there are many out there like him. Yes, my father, like many hear have all day to reflect on their lives and I know we probably all have regrets. I often hear him talking in the kitchen and I wonder if he is talking to himself or someone. Sometimes he is a like a child, I'll walk in to peek at him and he will open one eye and quickly shut it. Don't know why he does that either. Thanks Gail. Hugs, Sue
Sue, ask him who he's talking to.. ask him if your mother comes to speak with him? His parents? Or someone else special from the other side? Also the closing the eyes real quickly.. play a game with him and tell him caught ya...
Sometimes they sleep a lot from boredom, other times the sleeping is part of "getting things in order" Wayne did this for quite some time. He would talk in his sleep and sleep all day then be up at night. He didn't want to talk with anyone. He needed his "alone" time. The book hospice gave me describes this is more detail. Now he sleeps 16 - 18 hours a day but he has done his contemplating, putting things in order and is now awake when he wants to be to see who he wants to. (sleeps while Julie is in school, awake to watch her eat dinner, play for a bit and put her to bed) His priorities are in order. He has finished "talking to who he needs to talk to". He told us he would be here until September. The last conversation he had while sleeping was..."yes, soon, everything is almost in place" He was quite calm and didn't sound sad or angry. What's funny is that he talks so clearly in his sleep but when he is awake or on the phone he is very difficult to understand...slurring words and mumbling.
I am glad you came back even if it's briefly.. you have been on my mind as well.. as Robin told you. I become so speechless when you share with us about Wayne... I really believe that when he is asleep and talking he is actually out of his body somewhat..and that is why his voice is so clear and pure..and when he is on the phone or speaking in person he is back in his body.. years ago when I had asthma, it would almost dimminish if I went into a trance like meditative state, but once I came back into my body.. boom it was there full force once again.
I believe we are just so accustomed to everything being on this material plane that it is difficult to comprehend the ethers we are speaking of.. but my own personal experiences tell me we are definitely much more than our bodies.. or should I say our shells...
I have been trying to get online but it's been a bit crazy here as I emailed Robin. I hope she shared everything with you.
I am taking MY time also. Been walking and even went to the pool a couple times and swam some laps. Spending my free time out of the house and doing physical things. Need to do that sometimes. Entering the land of the living slowly but surely. Taking the help I can get and they really suggest I find things to do away from home. I think it's good for me too.
I honestly believe you are right. Wayne is on a different plane when he is talking in his sleep, and I certainly can't see who he is talking to though I have my ideas.
One time when I was in the hospital I had surgery and told them several times that I didn't need much anesthesia. To make a long story short, my IV came out and I am not a good candidate for IV's. I remember seeing two nurses trying to start a new one and could hear them talking but couldn't feel a thing. My MIL was there and she swears that I was still out cold but later when we talked I told her what the nurses were saying and the five places they tried to start the new IV. She was amazed. I know I saw the whole thing and heard it all but MIL says my eyes were closed and I never moved or even twitched. I think if we really look back we all have had these experiences.
Lou, you have been on my mind, I was wondering how you are. Thanks for responding. I kind of feel bad if it is out of boredom. Not sure how to entertain him. I believe he is talking to someone too. Wayne is a young man and I am sure there is someone very special he is speaking with. Have you asked him? Gail, I will take your advice and ask my father next time I hear him. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs, Sue
I asked Wayne once who it was. He told me he didn't want to discuss it. In fact, at first he tried to deny the conversations. Now he admits to having them but still will not tell me who it is and I am not going to push for an answer. Apparently he feels it is not something I need to know. Which is okay with me. My personal thought is that it is either my grandmother (who died before he was born) or my mom who died just after his 2nd birthday. The other thought is that it is Jesus Himself. The wierd thing is he seems to know things from the bible that he never read or discussed before. We were watching a cartoon with Julie one day and he started telling me stuff that even I didn't know and I teach Children's Sunday School!!!! And this is stuff from Daniel and Revelation. He insists that I do not miss church too. So...there is something to our guys listening to religious programs and stuff. Maybe they are seeing things in their sleep and checking to see if what they see is real or a dream. Some of the things Wayne has shared is really interesting and I have to say that I have found it reassuring to me.
Well, got to go. There is a huge chemical fire 45 miles away and it is affecting us. Have to stay indoors and shut off air conditioning. Chlorine in the air and it affects breathing.
P.S. Don't worry about entertaining dad...somehow, I don't think he is bored. Maybe dreaming up ways to push your buttons.
there's so much here to respond to.. I loved Lou's last quip about your dad dreaming up things to push your buttons Sue.. but seriously, I am happy to hear Sue & Lou that you are in agreement with me and that they are receiving guidance and direction.
Since these experiences aren't in the daily norm.. I think those having the experiences are afraid we will think they are crazy. Having an understanding of this means our hearts are open.. and I am grateful for all of us.. if we allowed ourselves to go inward more in the stillness and quietness of our selves, we'd find the same type of guidance.. now.. this is the task at hand.. a place of finding more inner peace, joy and love for ourselves..
It is good to know you are doing more things for yourself Lou. Hospice is wonderful for helping caregivers to do this.. it makes it easier when the transition takes place..
am concerned about the cholorine.. why would you close the a/c and not put it on with the vents closed? That sounds like an awful invasive environmental mess..how will those with breathing problems fair from this.. the smoke, the fumes and chemicals? I pray everyone will be ok... keep us posted..
LOL Lou on the comment about pushing my buttons!! No doubt you are right. For some reason now he keeps asking for Applesauce, so after work off to the market I go. :-) That's amazing Lou. I think Wayne knows who he is talking to. Maybe several different entities. I think we mortals are not suppose to know. Maybe they forget for that reason. I will ask my father though. Sometimes he wakes up so full of ideas and other times so very quiet. Please be careful with that chemical fire. Gail, I think you are right on the mark. So many things we do not understand. Take care, Sue
Sue.... Yes, I do think Wayne knows who it is that he is talking to. And maybe we aren't suppose to understand all they are processing until our time comes. So many unknowns but I am willing to accept the limits he puts on my involvement in that area. I am thankful for all he has shared with me and will have to make the journey on my own. He seems quite secure with his journey and when the final days we will see what transpires. I am not going to fret or worry because Wayne is calm and seems to accept what is happening and is content. He has taught me that live is for loving and holding on to the treasures of the moment. He has been able to laugh each day and share his love. He has no regrets and though he is only 27, his life has been full. So, I guess it isn't the years but the days that count.
We have central air conditioning and GEMA (Georgia Emergency Management Something or other) told us to shut off air conditioners. I put two fans in Wayne's room and a bowl of ice in front of the fans. He stayed pretty cool. He did say at one point that he didn't feel good though, complained that his head felt strange. He put oxygen on for a couple hours and seemed better after that. No place is completely air tight and I know I could smell the stuff in the kitchen area so he may have gotten some fumes.
The chlorine is heavier than the air and settles in low areas. There was actually a mist coming down within a 5 mile radius of the fire and that is one reason they evacuated those people. I couldn't do anything for the dogs but after the wind changed direction I went out and hosed the dogs down with the garden hose and changed their water buckets. It was kind of strange in a way, both dogs crawled under their dog houses and stayed there until the wind shifted. Guess they know more than we humans do. Instinct.
The fire is still burning. They say they can't put it out but it is contained to that building. Something about water making more explosions. I don't know why they couldn't have the planes come in and dump sand on the fire and smother it but I am just a citizen. They say it could take up to two days for the fire to burn itself out. Green, Yellow, Black and white smoke for miles and miles. A real mess.
Hospice came out and checked on Wayne. She told me that they moved all the residents to the hospital in Dekalb. (west of Conyers) She is going to call tomorrow to make sure Wayne is feeling okay and is sending two extra tanks of oxygen out in case we need it tomorrow. He has two full tanks now and the home unit.
Don't know what this is going to do over the long run. Will it affect the milk from the nearby dairy farms? What about produce and fruit trees? They have no idea what caused the fire. Probably never will.
Hi Lou, I was watching all the news reporting about the fires by you. How scarey. I hope things are better today. As you mentioned, wonder what else is affected by the chemicals? Gosh, one can only imagine. I am glad to hear you are taking good care of yourself, and that Wayne being at peace is for sure a load you don't have to carry anymore. What a strong and powerful man he is! I was wondering, has he journaled through his process at all, or maybe recorded anything? I pray for you both for continued strength. Bless you Lou and all that you do! Hugs, Robin
Sue, How are you? Glad to see you are taking back your power. Feels good doesn't it? I know it is a difficult process, remember to keep practicing. How is dad? How is he doing with the Amiodarone? My father was put on Aldactone this time (added), and he had such a bad response to it in the hospital back in Feb, the doc only has me giving it 2-3x a week. So far he is holding his own, but seems more disoriented. One day at a time...... hugs, Robin
I am okay. My boyfriend and I are going to Red Lobster tonight for dinner. No special reason, just to go! YEH!!! My daughter fiinally got a new car today, a little Honda Civic and I am tickled. I was worried about her driving around in that old car that kept breaking down, espcially with the baby now. My father too is winding down. He has a hadr time going from room to room and spends alot of time in bed watching TV. He uses the plastic urinal in his room now to prevent from having to walk to the bathroom. I surmise he will go in his sleep. I pray he will and he will not be in pain or suffer another stroke, etc. I know you do too. Sounds like your father is in the same place. What is that new mediciation casuing? I mean, what symptoms. So far my Dad seems okay on the other new med. They cut it back to 100mg's daily. Sue
Dad too had his dose of Amiodarone decrease to 100mg. Do you cut a pill in half? They say that it doesn't come in that dose. The other med isn't causing anything, now, but what it does is makes his Potassium drop if he is on too much, or too long.
Hi Robin. Yes, it was good. Had to wait until late to go because we had severe thunderstorms and my father becomes frightened and I wouldn't want the power to go out and him try an stumble in the dark. Yes, I cut the pill in half. Does your father take the potassium pills too?
Hi Sue, Glad you had a nice time. No, dad doesn't take potassium. The only time he seems to have to is when he is in full blown CHF, and they are overloading his system, and throwing off his labs. Hugs, Robin
It's good to hear that your daughter got her new car.. it will take a lot of the worry off your mind.. keep up the good work saying "no" and let us know how you are doing..
I remember many a time when my father's eyes would be half closed.. it looked as if he was in a trance.. and he would come out of the resting period with such sage advice and wisdom. It was almost as if it wasn't him speaking .. many a time I would ask him who he was listening to.. he would kind get annoyed and pass it off.. but I know he was being guided...
Hi Gail - sorry I missed you post. It was yummmmmmy. I loved it. Gail, my father sometimes lays awake and quite, like a bay would. But not trance like. I wonder what your father was hearing. Did he ever say? it's like it's a universal secret in that stage. Maybe they immediately forget? Now this is going to sound real, real strange, and I know people do not like hearing this type of thing or thing you have lost your mind. But....lately, strange things have been happening around here. The TV goes on and off. Noises that can't be explained. I had my daughter's baby monitor on downstairs and heard the door upstairs open and close - I ran upstairs in a panic, no one there but a sleeping baby. Now for the grand finale - my daughter comes to me and says, "Mom, weird things are happening." I got goose bumps. I said, "I know." She said "what is it?" I asked her what she mean't (didn't tell her first) and she said, "I am awaken by a male voice that I don't recognize and I can't make out the word he says, one word." She said, "and noises." She added that he cell phone has rang twice when it is off. She tested it by turning it off and calling the number from our home phone and it did not ring. Could this be my father out of body during his sleep? This is only seems to occur while he is asleep. At least for me. Please don't think I am nuttso! Sue
You know Sue, my parents used to go to channeling type sessions.. once or twice people tuned in to my father and told him about his past.. things they couldn't have ever known..I believe that he truly accepted the concepts of the soul and spirit..
When he would go into the trances and I would ask him, it was almost as if he were embarrassed to talk about it.. maybe he thought we'd think he was crazy.. a few weeks before he passed.. I asked him to nudge me in my neck like i used to do to him.. he would be ticklish and giggle like a little kid.. I told him that this was how I wanted him to get my attention once he was on the other side.. I really caught him off guard with this discussion..
I know that my father has guided me in a lot of this work.. through helping me to clarify the mission and the work..it seems to come through me.. it isn't from my ego.. so it is my sense that this is my father helping me now in his own way...
I am not sure that this will help you but you have nothing to lose by asking him...
Yes, I will inquire more. it's very add. That's sweet about the nudging you mentioned with your father. I think we all need to try something - it's someone way to stay communicated. It warms the heart. Sue
I think the trying to do something is very difficult for the average person especially a caregiver who is entrenched in the role and worrying.. it is truly a gift that we can give to ourselves when we become more mindful of our soul and the universe we are a part of and connected to.. taking time to smell the flowers is an old cliche but truly of great value.. journal writing and meditation.. sitting still in our own energy is vitally important to open us to be more receptive to these states of being in which we become more sensitive intuitively or psychically.. however you choose to label it..
I have been listening alot to Wayne Dyer on PBS television with his new program on "Intentions" in hopes of getting myself back into a daily routine of meditation as a ritual.. it is grounding, balancing.. etc etc..
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