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Hello everyone!

Since ma went into the home it's been a serious roller coaster ride of emotions. The 'lost'feeling has finally left now, and the more positive 'what I can do next' feeling has arrived in full force.

The good news is that ma is actually enjoying the home much better, for the simple reason that she has a team of nurses to call all the time! She was in frailcare from Oct-Dec, and this month they moved her to mid-care, and then two weeks ago moved her again to semi-unassisted living. The reason she complained about the move is because she can't call the nurses for every little thing anymore! The social worker explained to me that she is actually quite capable and they encourage their patients to maintain as much independence as possible - or else they get spoiled.

She still sms's everyday, sometimes 4-5 times a day just to find out what I'm doing etc. To be absolutely honest I really wish she wouldn't. There is a part of me that just desperately wants her to leave me alone. When I come to her that's when I'm prepared and willing to give to her. I don't want to be nagged into coming. Remnants of anger and resentment I suppose.

For once the year ahead feels filled with possibilities. It really is a fantastic feeling. Sure, I still get lonely sometimes at home by myself, but it's way better than being alone with enormous amounts of stress.

I send everyone lots of strength and encouragement and hope for the new year.

Love
Asiza

May the best ye've ever seen, Be the warst ye'll ever see. May the moose ne'er lea' yer aumrie Wi' a tear-drap in his e'e. May ye aye keep hail an' hertie,Till ye're auld eneuch tae dee. May ye aye be jist as happy, As we wiss ye noo tae be.

May the best you've ever seen, Be the worst you'll ever see. May the mouse never leave your pantry With a tear-drop in his eye. May you always keep healthy and hearty Until you're old enough to die. May you always be just as happy As we wish you now to be.)

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Hi, Asiza.

Thank you for sharing the update on your mother. It's so wonderful to hear she is doing so well and that you are getting your own life back.

I see my own mother about every 4 or 5 days. I'll say "Hi, Mom, how are you?" and she'll say "Better, now you're here." Well I'm glad that she's glad to see me, but it really doesn't impart any useful information.

We've had a few ups and downs lately trying to tweak her care (oral hygiene, glucose / diet and neuropathy issues), but whenever we discuss whether she should be where she is, she says (and I agree) that she is getting really good care from people she generally likes pretty well.

Give it time. The SMS's will decrease in frequency as your mother forms attachments there.

Happy Hugs to you, with wishes for a prosperous new year.

-Barb


[This message has been edited by bamagirl (edited 01-26-2009).]
Hello Asiza,

What wonderful news.. and such a great way to start the New Year for both of you. I had been wondering how it was going.

It is such a gifted blessing that they are actually encouraging your mother to be more independent on her own as they have... Without guilt the nurses are able to strengthen her... wow... I wish more caregivers can share truly remarkable stories with happy results as you have. The fact that you have such a remarkable facility is even a bigger gift for the two of you.

It will take more time for you to release the anger and pain you have experienced for so long... be gentle and nurturing... don't respond to all her calls and sm's and most of all, please keep us posted as you begin reclaiming your own life...

richest blessings
gail

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