Skip to main content

Hi everyone. Well my husbands grandparents have moved in. So far, other than the addition not being completed, the only rant I have is about Granny. Anytime my 3 yr old makes sound, talking, singing, laughing, screaming, yelling.... She tells him to be quiet, in a mean sort of way. My kids have to be quiet all the time, because granny has headaches all the time. I know she cant control it, but, if my older son is loud she hasnt said anything to him. Now I may be projecting because my grandmother treated me like crap and my brother like a prince.

Yesterday we had the power go out, and after a while the grandparents went for a drive to help Granny breathe. As soon as they were out the door my boys were going nuts, I mean cuz they had all this energy built up ya know?

Right now I am on some meds that make it so Im not supposed to be out in the sun. We also live in Tuscon, AZ so we are at 105 for our highs, so that is one thing that makes it difficult to get out. The other is that if Grandpa isnt here, I have to stay here. Ok, Granny says I dont, but, what happens if she cant get up to go to the bathroom, or she falls or she needs her med etc. Heck when she is in the master bathroom (they are staying in our bedroom right now) and she hollers for someone in the bedroom, they cant hear her.

I guess Im partly getting ticked with my husband as well, because this week he is starting to go to two different martial art classes. One class meets Mon and Wed and the other meets Tus, Fri and Sunday.

The sad thing is... they have only been here for two weeks. I really need to save up money to go on a trip to see my family. DHs grandfather said that if I planned it for before he gets a job, he would watch the boys for me. Grandfather is much younger than Granny, so he isnt retired yet.

Granny is on Oxygen 24/7, she has diabetes, congestive heart failure, losing her hearing, and going blind and Im not sure what else. I know she has a bad hip, but cant have surgery because of the other stuff. I dont feel like I have anyone to talk to, well I coudl email my mom, but, does it always overwhelm you when you are first getting adjusted? I keep telling myself that it will be easier when the addition is done. I dont want to complain about this... I want to learn from it. I figure if I can handle this, then I can handle becoming a nurse, ya know? sigh...
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

Hi Oddball:

You do have your hands full... And, yes, it is very hard at first and oftentimes overwhelming. Hopefully it will be better when the addition is done and they have their own space.

Have you checked into any volunteer help in your area to help you out during this time? If you can get someone to come in perhaps once a week, then you can plan some time with your children away from the house so they can run and play.

Try to take some time out on a daily basis to take care of yourself. Perhaps journal or exercise or even just paint your toenails if you can... It is important to your well-being.

Your hubby needs to help you get that time by helping with Granny or the children. If he is not understanding and supportive, then it will be more burdensome on you. Perhpaps it might help to have family meetings now that the grandparents are here to discuss issues and adjustments on a weekly basis.

Hang in there, dear heart. Sandwiching is especially hard on care-givers. We have to learn to find our own time outs to keep our peace of mind. So, do take care of yourself and don't let the little things add up...

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Hi I dont mean to make it sound like I am the only caretaker. Grandpa takes care of her most of the time, and our friend does help out... DH does if he happens to be around. Grandpa is having to run errands to get thier stuff set up (DMV etc) and soon they will have her doctor appts to go to, so the boys will get some wild crazy time

I did take the 3 yr old into the hot tub early in the morning(shaded), and may do that more... let him splash and such (older boy was still asleep). When the sun goes down more I may take them out as well.

It just seems like Im constantly taking care of others I did go to Kmart today and got some lotion that smelled good for myself.. its the little things. I suppose right now I could go quilt a bit, but, it sounds like the boys are starting to fight again

better get to them...
Hi Oddball,
Adjusting is difficult for everyone. My DH's great-uncle lives with us. He moved in when first DD was just under 3 and second DD was 3 months. Yikes, right?! Well, DH did/does MOST of the caretaking since I was very tied up with the BFing baby. Within a few weeks great-uncle fell 3 times and finally the third fall landed him in the hospital with a broken back. He was sent home with a brace and was mostly immoble. DH had to help him whenever he needed to walk somewhere (i.e. the bathroom). DH was wonderful. Great-uncle is all healed but it's been a difficult transition again for him because he was so used to being weighted on hand and foot and now that he can walk it took a while to break the old habbits. Moods are always changing amongst us 3 adults and there are ALWAYS complaints. But DH and I stay close by talking and sharing. We even had to go to counseling after 2 and 1/2 months of caregiving. (We had also just moved to a new town and new home 2 weeks before he moved in with us.) It helped us transition too. I know my DH used to do things to "escape" so make sure you talk to your DH about not going out of the house too much without making time for the two of you! Date nights! Good luck!

Add Reply

Link copied to your clipboard.