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I wrote my last post in January. My husband had surgery in October and still has not fully recovered. It has been one thing after another. He has had stomach and acid issues as a result of the IV antibiotics. He has lost 20 lbs. I won't go into the other issues but the new thing is the doctor is referring him to a hemotologist because of low blood count. He may need a bone marrow biopsy.
I am just so very tired of carrying the full load. How do you manage to work fulltime, cook, clean house and whatever else needs to be done? What little he did do he can't do anymore. I am wore out and resentful.
He has had one illness or another for 19 of the 23 years that we have been married. I am ready for someone to take of me for a change. I know that sounds horrible. He can't help that he is sick. But I am angry that he didn't do more when he could have. I am angry that he does not show me much appreciation. Thanks for letting me vent once more.
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Hello Savvy0117:

I know how you feel. I was surely tired while caregiving. There is always something to be done and no one else to help do it... It can be exhausting.

It is okay to be angry. It is better to vent here than to family and friends at times. It is so hard to express how heavy the caregiving load is to someone who has never experienced it. It is not only physically wearing but emotionally exhausting too...

Have you checked into volunteer help in your neighborhood? There is always Faith in Action that might be able to help if there is one near you. Their website is:

Do contact them if you can. Any little bit of help is better than none. They can do your shopping or perhaps help with the cooking. Meanwhile, grab a cup of tea and put your feet up.

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Aloha Savvy,

I can't even imagine how you're still sane. Working 8 hours a day at your job and the other 16 caregiving at home. I can barely manage just the caregiving of my husband and the house 24/7 for the past year. You're still young yet have spent most of your life caring for your husband, that's unbelievable to me. If he isn't going to "recover" from his illnesses you have nothing to look forward to but taking care of him for the rest of your life and that must be terribly depressing. If it were me I can guarantee that I'd be looking into a nursing home or assisted living facility and work two jobs to pay for it just so I could keep my sanity and have some sort of life for myself. You're traveling a really rough road girl......I feel for you.

Thanks for the encouraging words. He is not completely incapacitated so I have not looked for outside help. I just get frustrated that he does not do more when he can. Don't get me wrong. He cleans the bathrooms when he feels like it and does his own laundry. I must give him some credit. Now he is just tired all the time and there has just been one thing or another that he is recouperating from. We went to couples therapy yesterday. It was very encouraging. We have scheduled two more sessions. Hopefully, he will do the work required to make our relationship better.

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