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I am new to this board and my family and I are in need of some assistance. My grandmother was moved to a assisted living factility about 3 weeks ago. She did not want to go but she has dementia and had had a TIA stroke and my mother, aunt and uncle felt like it was the only safe thing to do. Ever since she has been there, she has been saying that she is leaving and not staying. She had periods of being happy there but now refuses to eat and won't get out of her pajamas. She has tried to convice my mother to move in with her and she will give her the home she owns. This is a situation that would be disastrous and not in the best interest of either of them which my mother realizes. What I am trying to find out is if this type of anger is normal. What suggestions do you have for my mother and aunt who live in the area and the ones who deal with her on a day to day basis? It's very hard on them as I am sure you all know and the guilt and pain of seeing their mom upset is hard to deal with at times. Thanks in advance for your help!
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Hello loonetta,

Welcome... while I have not had to deal with someone personally with Alzheimer's, I have heard from many a caregiver how much their loved one wants to return home as if there is nothing wrong...many loved ones, pack their belongings readilyh on a daily basis so that they can return.. Others may respond here at the site and you can check other Alzheimer sites by going to the main page here at the site and clicking on the alzheimer sites will cast a vote as well...and if you care not to, just click on the other link...let us know how you are making out.

Hi loonetta...

Sorry about your situation...
Dealing with a family member with a dementia can be very know what to do, etc...and yes, sometimes guilt placing them in a home...
If she is in a "wandering" stage, with her wanting to leave there perhaps it is better that she is somewhere where it is safer and she is being watched or restrained in some way...
One of my uncles had alzheimers and my aunt kept him at home...having a nurse over some nights to watch him so she could sleep...somehow he still managed to wander out of the house and a few times was found on the ground in bushes badly scraped, etc..I hate to think what would have happened had he made it far enough to end up on the highway or something...
If your area has an alzheimers support agency i would give them a call and find out what they could offer in the way of counselling for your family...

take care...and please let us know how you all are making out...

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