With the recent spotlight here about caregiving for someone addicted to a substance,I just had to ask this question in the hopes others will respond and help me to understand.
We all know alcoholism is a disease...and we all know what AlAnon is about. I have called our local agency a couple of times on request by my brother in law in regards to his wife, who is an alcoholic. They blatantly tell you to totally cut the person out of your life, no helping, no talking, no nothing ....hence your ability to NOT enable any more. He, like others I know are unable to do this. It is sort of a viscious circle...you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.
My brother in law's attitude of running and helping his wife at the drop of a hat with everything and anything is to say the least, maddening to me. But my husband says it must be hard for him and as much as he feels distaste for his brothers wife, he says he can understand why he can't let go.
My question is for anyone who is living/caring for an alcoholic. If, according to Alcoholics Anonymous, being an enabler and letting the alcoholic have control is so negative towards their disease, how do you cope with this fact?