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Hi, I am new to this wonderful forum and am so glad there is a safe place to come to where people "get" what caregiving is all about. I have been a in home caregiver for over 30 years and have learned so much about illnesses, disabilities , and myself. I still get tears when I see a young person who's time is limited...I haven't hardened and am thankful for that. But boundaries are so important in this field or we fold. Thank you for listening and glad to see you all here.

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It's late here and cannot sleep. I seem to be in some sort of funk and I am sure it is because in the last 5 or 6 years I have lost five people that I felt very close to and the last one being my only sister the end of January. My childhood bestfriend and first love is needing a liver transplant and hope he can survive these next several months until he is able to get  the transplant. I have gained weight and cannot seem to leave my nails alone and am trying to talk myself in to getting back on board. It is a little bit of a dance for me right now, but I also realize I am not happy the way things are. I need to motivate myself in the right direction. I normally try my best to take care with diet and staying reasonably busy. But man can I use a major push! Thanks for listening. This is a great forum to vent and share and listen. I wish all of you strength and well being.

Hello onelifetolive:

 

Welcome to the boards. We are happy to have you here!

 

I am so sorry over your losses and can imagine what pain you are going through. I, too, have lost a sister... In addition, having a dear friend going through the transplant process can be very stressful for you both. I am sure your friend is grateful that you are there for him during this time.

 

Also, onelifetolive, I applaud you for sharing your concerns. I, too, find it hard to get motivated and follow through with life-changing decisions for the better. I know I have to do a lot of "self-talk" to get myself going some days. My main focus nowadays is a healthy diet such as juicing daily and eating more salads. It does improve the energy level...

 

Meanwhile, I hope you have gotten some rest and take some time out for yourself today. Just know that you are not alone. We are here for you!

 

Hugs, Glenda

 

.

Hello Glenda, and thank you so much for your very comforting words, it means more than you can imagine...and from a stranger! But a sister at the same time because we all can relate. I think you're right about the diet and energy levlels because when i last lost the 10 lb I had needed to lose, my energy level picked up considerably. I did get a good rest and since my client had to be hospitalized today I did what any healthy woman would do...SHOP! For me. Something that I have need to do for awhile and it absolutely lifted my spirits and took my mind

 

 off of things. I have gone back on the weight watchers frozen dinners for awhile and then when i drop the 8 lb desired, I will return to cooking. In the mean time this is my jump start. I do happen to love spinach salad and maybe you have inspired me. This place is so unique because we all are in the same boat, maybe a different model, but the same boat and so we all can relate and feel empathy for one another.I am so sorry for the loss of your sister, a sister is a very special person to have.  Just as a side note, I would love for you to join me at

 

 my little women's forum (if you have the time). It's fairly new and just a few members and needing to find people who are willing to post If I get enough caregivers there at some point, maybe we could start a thread for that topic. But I intend to stay put here also. This place is a Godsend and I am sure I can speak for others here too. Thank you again. If you care to join, please let me know and I will get the link to you. Your words have made a difference.

onelifetolive

Hi onelifetolive:

 

It did make me smile with regards to shopping... I went out myself today and bought some new garden tools - now I just hope sunny weather is around the corner! 

 

How is your client doing? Is it a serious situation? Or is the client getting better?

 

Meanwhile, take care onelife, and hope to hear from you soon...

 

Hugs, Glenda

Hi Glenda, hee hee, isn't it amazing what buyin the simplist thing can do for the spirit and it gets you outside and around people...I have to watch my pennies so i don't shop often, but it does lift the spirits. Gardening can be fun and good exercise and I am sure when everything is growing it must be so gratifying to watch. What do you grow?

 

My client is on dialysis and she has had multiple problems with blood flow. This last time they had to do a procedure on her port and she said it went so smoothly that she was home that same evening and she sounded wonderful. She is a fighter, 81 yrs. old with a young spirit (she listens to the Beach Boys) and we do make Fridays our fun day! I love working with her because aside from her problematic medical history she shows concern for others...how nice. Thank you for asking.

 

I'll include the link I mentioned too.

 

EDIT...The correct link is......http://margaritaville-die-hards.socialgo.com

 

Last edited by onelifetolive

Hello Onelifetolive.,

 

welcome.. I have been somewhat out of the loop but have been reading the posts. I have been in transit from New York City to Mexico on business and this is the first breathing moment that I can respond to all the posts. I will be reading through all of them as I write.

 

Thirty years of home caregiving is not easy work, but you are compassionate, loving and caring and the work is as if it is your calling. I truly honor you as you are doing God's work.

 

I am glad you found us and that you feel safe.... this was my whole purpose for creating Empowering Caregivers. While it started out for family members and friends caring for loved ones, it quickly caught on with professionals in many areas of caregiving providing the emotional and spiritual support for so many that is not really available on other caregiving sites. I agree that setting boundaries is a necessary priority for all.

 

I can only imagine the funk that you were in having lost so many people that you were close to. Not having the proper time to mourn and heal each loss, to be thrown into the role of caregiving is so very difficult. I, myself found this in caring for my friends, husband, cats, each parent and all the caregivers...There's no rhyme or reason to it all but somehow we strengthen and move into each new situation, egoless and with love... I am sorry ot hear of your losses especially your sister... and now to havce your best childhood friend in need of a transplant is so stressful and painful...

 

As for the weight, don't pressure yourself... be gentle, nurturing and kind to yourself as you are to all those you care for. When we are stressed, our adrenal glands are in override... for many like myself, the adrenals burn out. The adrenals release cortisol into the body which keeps the weight on. Unless we can really become peaceful from within, they work harder and the harder they work, the more cortisol is released and the more weight we keep on...The nail biting comes from the stress of the cortisol speeding up the body in its flight mode so it all goes hand in hand. To understand this and accept this at this time is extremely important.

 

For me, the best thing I could do when I had conversations with myself was to remind me in every moment that I had I had a choice... to experience love or fear... to accept what was happening and to understand and know that this was going to resolve itself in the long run for the highest good of all concerned... to accept the things we could not control and to surrender... and make the changes that we could from within.

 

I think even now, not being a caregiver, it is important to care for ourselves first in the same loving way that we care for others... I always say, it is so easy to love and care for others, why is it so difficult to treat ourselves in the same fashion.

 

I noticed that you wrote to Glenda that she offered such comforting words.. especially from a stranger... we may not know one another on the material plane.. but our souls have reached out to connect on a much deeper level and this is why it is even more comforting to relate with each other.

 

I have recently cut out all carbs, bread, coffee, sugars and even meats (once again) and my energies have balanced well and the weight is coming off... finding some time to do something you love for you is a bonus you can offer to yourself whether it is walking, reading, taking a bath, doing art... doing something for yourself that makes your heart sing.  Please make the time.... start with 5-10minutes daily and increase as you can.. Another way is to write daily in a journal... it is cathartic to get all the cah cah out that burdens us... and in the writing, many times, important information may come through that guides and directs us through it all.. some times it isn't even in our own hand writing... it comes through us.

 

What women's forum did you create...

 

Happy to hear that your client is doing better...

 

Please keep us posted... again, my apologies for not responding sooner..

 

richest blessings in all you are doing

 

gail

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Gail, funny thing, my sister's name is Gaile. Thank you too for a beautiful and thoughtful and selfless letter. I agree about being virtual strangers yet having a conncection that sometimes not even our friends have with us. I am the motivator at work with my clients. I have all the answers for them but when it hits home it is a little more difficult as we then have to do the work. I am focusing much more on myself now and although i don't have a routine for exercise i

 

 do make it a point to get some in. I had joined a walking group several months ago and have been several times...it all depends on my work schedule and having to deal with the past ailments. Now my excuses are down to a minimum. I also bring my five yr. old grand daughter to the fitness room where I live and we have fun and get pretty good exercise. Should do it more often, but it's a start. I also get a work out with a clients new bulldog puppy. I am in love with her!. I use to be quite the writer when things overwhelmed me, not so much anymore, but if

 

 something comes up that I just feel is too much I will write my thoughts down and re-read then toss in the garbage and give it over to God...That has helped me many times. You are right, it's like a weight has been lifted once down on paper. I also believe that when re-reading sometimes you can step outside yourself and see things a little differently. Thanks again for your input, it is very healing...you are a caregiver.

 

My forum is really nothing, just a place to come to chat and exchange whatever with other women. Gail, it is like pulling teeth to get people to post, and so I am about ready to give up, but not just yet. I enjoy the forum and keep trying. Maybe I am doing something wrong, don't know. I even created a thread for suggestions on how to improve the forum. IDK. I am at a loss. Anyway it's there and welcome anyone who may want a place to hang out in their spare time.

 

Thank you for the information regarding the nails and diet. I am doing better with both in the past couple days. I have always been a nail biter and when I really put my mind to it can actually let them grow! Back at it again.

 

I wonder if anyone would have any suggestions for a woman who is caring for her mom at home, going to school, and working two jobs...she sounds depressed, burnt out and isn't even asking for help (that I know of). But I was sort of hoping there might be ways for her to get financil help with care for her mom so she doesn't have to work two jobs. I would appreciate any advice that I could pass on to her.

Thank you!

 

Also, I edited the link (above in earlier post) and will post it here for easier access. This is the correct link to the forum

 

http://margaritaville-die-hards.socialgo.com

Last edited by onelifetolive

Hi onelife:

 

Wow, what a heavy load!

 

I think in such a situation, it might be most helpful to help provide periods of respite care to allow her to "have a weekend off" or some time to herself... Burn-out can be a serious concern for someone that is carrying that heavy of a load.

 

What is the situation with her mother? How is her mother's overall health? Does she go to school full-time? Is there any family around?

 

Each situation is so unique... If there is family around, perhaps a family meeting is in order. If not, then contacting an organization such as Faith in Action might provide some assistance that will help alleviate the burdens a bit. Here is a link: http://www.fianationalnetwork.org/index.cfm

 

Your friend is our friend, onelife, and we hope to be of some help during some of the roughest of times. Let her know that others are here for her if need be! And to remember to breathe...

 

Hugs, Glenda

 

 

Last edited by glenderella

Hi Glenda, Thank you for the link and your very kind words. Actually she is not a friend, rather someone who posted on a forum and I did pass the link on to her and hope she will at least take a peak. I think everything is pretty much on her and not sure if she goes to school full time. Somehow she needs to take some "me" time as you say!  Oh, and I will definitely tell her about this place...thank you again!

Hi onelife:

 

You are a godsend! I am sure that your support is invaluable to your forumfriend...

 

I do hope that Faith in Action can be of some help in her situation. I do know how hard it can be to go to school and be a caregiver at the same time. I just cannot imagine two jobs on top of that. I hope she is just taking the minimum classload during this time.

 

At any rate, our support is so precious to others during such challenging times. Bless you onelife!

 

Hugs, Glenda

 Hello ladies...I am working with a client who has hoarding issues. If you've ever known anyone with this problem, it is just overwhelming and to the point where her family doesn't even want to visit her. She has been evicted more than once and is about to be again! I just came in on this case a few weeks ago and I have talked her in to getting rid of some of her "stuff".

 

We have together cleared out 6 bags of stuff and it wans't easy for her...so I took her to breakfast and said that after breakfast we would burn off some calories by getting rid of more "stuff" and with her permission, we did! Much to my surprise the next day that I went back she had already filled a box with things to give away

 

. I was shocked that she did this on her own...there is hope!! Before she moved to this apt. I was informed that they made her get rid of 12 bags of stuff, large garbage bags!! She cannot get her bed into her bedroom because it was completely packed and to the ceiling. Mind you, I do not get paid extra for this, but she needs help, badly!

 

Other caregivers helped and then gave up. I am still on the fence about that too. I wonder if anyone might have any other suggestions on how to keep her in this mode...she deals with depression and sees a counselor. We did get involved with decorating her building for the fourth of July and she seemed so happy to help out..

 

.and did a nice job. They asked her to be on the committee. Her neighbors realize that she has been homebound. We take care of business inside, then go for walks. I am trying my best to help her out of this mess she is in, but I am no miracle worker. Boy, I really have gone on here, haven't I? I guess I needed to get this out and off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Hi, oltl.

 

As someone who suffers from "terminal clutter,"  I think what happens is a habit of collecting items that represent some sort of personal value or "might be useful someday."  As the children of Depression Era children we were brought up to keep things rather than just throw them away, especially if we "spent good money" to acquire them.  Now we have additional pressure to re-use and recycle.  I have a tall stack of newspapers in the corner for crafting projects and sacks of worn and torn clothes in the closet that supposedly will one day become a quilt or rag rug or serve some other useful purpose.

 

Okay, so I'm probably a borderline case.  If the stacks of stuff get too overwhelming, I do have to clear out or at least organize things so that I don't feel depressed about it.  I also make semi-regular trips to the local recycling center with boxes of old horse journals, etc that are in the attic. 

 

I'm also finally letting go of some of the items I inherited from my mother and her mother.  Grandma wasn't too bad, but my mom was a world class keeper of stuff.  When she lived alone, she had a narrow path from her chair to the kitchen and another from her chair to the (half covered) bed via the bathroom.   Helping her was a very slow process because *every* item had a story attached to it that she needed to tell and re-live.  In her case, it was more useful to bring in a disinterested outsider to keep her on task.

 

There is hope, though.  My stepson's stepson, who is 12, complimented my housekeeping as compared to their home... but they are in the process of moving.  They asked for and took about a third of my newpapers for packing. 

 

I think it is wonderful that you are helping your client make progress with her problem and rewarding her with a healthy activity... genius! 

 

Sorry, feeling long winded today myself.

-Barb

Hello!

 

It is a difficult juggling act... constantly encouraging the changes being made and not going crazy yourself and just giving up.

 

I come from a long line of hoarders so I get the whole mentality of it. My mom was another world class hoarder, if we had a bigger house there would  be even more stuff, in fact if I wasn't living there too at the time, my bedroom would have made a nice storage place...

 

I can get very sentimental about certain things, but I'm also a bit of a neat freak... so thankfully those two things balance each other out. I love neatness, and sometimes feel almost childish if I can't get rid of something. Ma though would keep everything under the sun, bread packets, used foil, plastic packets, food tins (opened ones, washed) any kind of clothes or shoes even if there is no chance of her ever wearing them. It seemed to me she derived some kind of security from it... as if it would protect her or something. She still kept clothes from when she was very young, but refused that I have them if they could fit me. Whenever I packed out a box of clothes that I wanted to give away I would find the box in my mother's room. She wil find a use for them... when in fact there were several young women that could have really found a use for those clothes!

 

I think it's chronic and simply doesn't go away!

 

In regard to your client though she is showing remarkable progress and that should be happily encouraged. She may just need someone on the outside giving her a bit of a push. if she can see her stuff making a difference to someone else's life, donating clothes, shoes, etc.. that may kindle some real joy in her and she'll want to keep that going. With her getting more involved with her neighbours she may find she wants to invite them round and then have piles of stuff everywhere wouldn't make a great impression. That might give her the impetus to really clear it all up and find a lot of peace and calmness when things are nicely sorted. She can also get joy and fulfillment from real relantionships instead of gleaning some kind of security from the mountains of possessions.

 

Well thats my twenty cents worth...

keep us updated on how it goes!

 

Sk

Thank you girls!

You each sound like you are more or less in control of your home surroundings and maybe collect a little too much. Lots of people i believe fit in to that catagory. I am a organizer and some times to a fault! Once threw out a $200.00 check by mistake as I do not like papers laying around. Thank God I realized it before the garbage men came that next day!! Yikes. Real careful not to do that anymore.

 

In my client's case, she has mental issues, a recovering alcoholic, and no close ties to family, abuse, etc. You each hit on some very good points...Bama, you're right about "why" she feels the need to keep all of this stuff.The only difference is it is stuff that is not of any real value and to her though it might be.... Useless stuff. Sk, absolutely agree that this is filling a giant hole in her heart. I encouraged her to give away a third coffee pot and when we found a gentleman who did not own one he jumped for joy and I watched her expression. She felt a sense of helping another.

 

I figure (because it is so stressful just to walk in her apt) that as long as she continues to make progress (we have a goal) then I will stay on. If I see that at some point she gives up...to be honest, I will too. Mainly because it is a health hazard just to be there. I used threats of her new kitty being taken away by animal control and me quitting, as gently but firmly as I could.

 

Thanks so much for your input and I will see on Friday if she has made any more attempts at sticking to the plan.

Hi All:

 

You are such a blessing to her onelife... I think there is hope if she is actually putting together her own box to discard. However, I might not expect miracles...

 

I did have to chuckle at everyone's response. Hoarding seems to ring a bell, doesn't it? My father was a "collector". I am still unpacking boxes from storage which includes some items which just baffle me. Why on earth would anyone keep that???

 

I thought that was a great story about the coffee pot! Three of any one thing is two too many.  Meanwhile, keep up the good work and let's kiss the clutter goodbye!

 

Hugs, Glenda

 

 

 

Hi Glenda.

 

Yes, three of anything is way too much. She saves plastic bags for the library...nice gesture, but yet another reason to collect an abundance of stuff. I know that there are kitchen counters because I saw them one day when we were cleaning up in there!

 

 It's very frustrating because you can have it so the counters are reasonably clean and clear one day and tha next day it looks like you did nothing! So I don't.I think that is called insanity and I refuse to join that club! Yes, she was showing interest and I just hope there haven't been any set backs for her.

 

I think "collectors" and :hoarders" are too very different things, as there is no order in her place and even if you want to vacuum you cannot because there is a carpet somewhere under all the stuff! A big difference. Basically it is wall to wall, wall to ceiling stuff!

 

 I have already told myself that I should not expect anything before walking in to her apt. I am only there one day a week (was doing two per week) but one is about all I can deal with under the circumstances. Let's keep our fingers crossed! Hugs back to you.

Since I am not aleepy (had a late nap after work) I will post the latest on my client. We have removed somewhere between 9 and 10 large garbage bags of "stuff"  to the garbage cans at her building.

 

I made a call to her case worker and informed him of our plan and goal for the client. I also asked him if we can get some outside help because it is so overwheming. He and a partner came this past monday and removed a full bag of "stuff". He will be coming every Monday to pitch in and that along with what I am doing on my end will make the difference.

 

 There are actual paths in her living room and bed room now...yes, it was that bad and still can be. I make it a point to get her outside walking and to interact with others in the lobby part of the time. She seems to be coming out of her depression a little because she has joined the decorating committee and we attended a monthly meeting (her first) where she was a good contributer.

 

 And she also informed me that she has been walking on her own. She has lost weight too! A long road to go yet, but at least she is cooperating with less resistance now. Thanks for listening and hope you all are well!

Hi OneLife:

 

I hope all is going well. It is quite a challenge and undertaking to make such changes - you must be a great motivator! Could you come over to my house (lol). I need to lose some weight!!!

 

I am sorry I haven't been around much lately. My computer recently died on me - luckily it is still under warranty... I hope I didn't lose everything and remembering passwords is usually by trial and error. Oh well, I have been through this before.

 

Anyhow, take some time to reward yourself for being such a supportive person. I think that is so wonderful.

 

Blessings, Glenda

 

Hello..... I suppose a bunch of us could stand to lose a few lbs. I have been making it a point to get a pedicure once a month and that includes their wonderful massage chair while having my feet and legs worked on, so yes I am trying to reward myself. That as you say is so very important for the spirit. I met some resistance this past week and I acknowledged how difficult it is for her and suggested we do nothing for awhile. We took a walk and talked with some people in her lobby for about an hour and then she was ready to work. We got a lot accomplished and so much more to go. Now I am told her counsellor will not be coming every week. Some of the information I get from her is not reliable (I am finding out), so time will tell. Thank you for listening and is so appreciated. Computers!!! Glad yours is working once again.

Wow! Time sure has gone by since my last post. So much has changed. My dear heart friend passed away this past December while waiting for a liver transplant. He developed pneumonia and couldn't fight it off...very tough!! My daughter had a mastectomy (day before my friend died) and will be having a second one done after the summer. She is finishing up her treatments and they expect her to be cancer free! That was the good news.

 

My former client (81 yr. old) sweet lady also checked herself in to Hospice House where she died with grace and dignity. I smile because we partied for days while she was there, balloons, KFC, cake, movies and pop corn...you name it. She was such fun but was also ready, as she put it.  I miss her and the other people I lost.

 

I know this is sounding so crazy, but my brother's cancer has returned after four years. sigh...so he's waiting on a decision about which type of cocktail they will be giving him. He will be getting both radiation and chemo this time. I pray to God that he beats this too. I call him Rambo because he beat a 40% survival rate last time. I am holding up fine and dealing with the blows.

 

 The good part about my dear friend who lost his battle is we kept in close contact and were able to express our heart felt feelings to each other. That makes a huge difference in how we deal with a loss, I think. I lasted several months with the "hoarder" until her maliciousness got in the way...We made huge progress to the pouint of her actually having her living room and kitchen and bathroom back.

 

 People would come in and compliment her home...Too bad. If a person doesn't want to make improvements in their lives there is not one thing that i could say or do to make her want to do that. i gave up, it just was getting so stressful. Hope you ladies are all doing well. I am doing fine, really...despite all the negative things I wrote about. venting is good. Whew! Guess I needed to talk..... Thanks so much for listening.

Hello OneLife:

 

I am glad to hear you are holding up well after all you have been through just lately... I am sad to hear about the loss of your dear heart friend and former client. Your brother "Rambo" and your daughter are both in my thoughts and prayers!

 

Most of the time I realize that life is fleeting and I should spend more time showing love and appreciation of friends and family. It sounds like you have been living that and I admire you so for supporting your brother and daughter, celebrating the hospice experience, and having the heartfelt discussions... Even your experience with the hoarder sounds like it was pretty successful after all is said and done. You are so right that you can't make another change. There must be some comfort in the hoarding experience after all.

 

I have been busy moving for the third time since my father passed away. It is at times like this when I wonder why am I keeping all this stuff??? How I wish you were here to help – lol...Hopefully I can make some decisions after I move on... In the meantime, just know you have been uplifting! Keep us posted re: Rambo and your daughter!!! Thinking positive thoughts for you all.

 

Hugs, Glenda

Hi Glenda and thanks so much for your warm response...oh how that made me feel good. I wish I could help you and believe me I would try my best. Are you in Mexico? Or am I thinking of someone else here....I hope you find your secure spot in life, it's important to feel some sense of roots. I am inclined to think these moves have all happened for a good reason for you. I am sorry about your dad's passing (have I missed this part). When did he pass on? Sometimes it is hard to see that while you're in the midst of things, and maybe this move will serve you well. Hang in there and all the best to you in life.

 

The progress that was made with the hoarding client was huge, but at the same time and as you said, there is comfort in all of this for her and so unless a light comes on in her head I am afraid it will go back to what it was and very easily. It's true, when we look around at the other less fortunate people in life, it sure can make one think.

Hello Onelife...

 

I am so sorry to hear of your multiples losses. It is difficult when there is only one but you have been going through so much. I know you are strong and that this is building even more strength to move through the experiences with your daughter and brother. It's uncanny how caregivers adjust through this situation.

 

Please take some time for yourself... to breath, maybe journal... all kinds of emotions no matter how complete crop up and sometimes, they are passed over while rallying into the next situations...

 

I am glad that you are handling it all and in a good space.. please keep us posted.

 

richest blessings in all you are doing

 

PS... Glenda, surrender and let go... it's only stuff... the peace comes from within...keep what you really would like that enhances your well being...

 

Love & light to you both

 

gail

Thanks for jogging my memory I recall now. I also live on the west coast. I realy am doing well considering everything. I am grateful that my daughter is cancer free and that helps keep me afloat. I will know more about my brothers treatments this Friday. I am praying for him, he is such a fighter.

 

He and his wife have taken advantage of the four year remission and travelled the world and this country. He loves to travel. So I pray that he will beat this again. I couldn't have given better advice regarding the "stuff". It can become overwhelming i am sure, but to start is a big step. Thank you both for your heart warming thoughts. 

Hi OneLIfe:

 

I am sorry I have been slow in response - it's the moving thing... I do live in the greater Pacific NW area  - in Washington (the rain forest state)... I am a native so I know no better. I can hardly wait for summertime. I am moving from a small city (Fife) to a little more country. You are so right OneLife, it is a good move!

 

Tomorrow, I will visit my mother for Easter. She is in her 90's and lives in a nice retirement home that she decided upon nine years ago or so. It is a blessing that she made such proactive decisions.

 

My father passed away the end of 2006. Then I went through the typical family estate animosity and have somehow survived. It seems that is when the claws  really come out - lol... Much of what I have is from his estate - he was quite the collector after all. He was committed to staying in his own home until the end. I cared for him for almost six years.

 

I wish you a merry Easter and thank you for your wonderful response. I hope all is well with your bro and baby girl. You are in my thought and prayers on Easter.

 

Hugs, Glenda

Thank you each for your support. It is amazing how without seeing each other we can some how connect and feel a closeness, a sister hood. Glenda, I live is Spokane! Small world. I think I've heard of Fife, not really sure though. This is a beautiful state and reminds me of back east as I am from Ct. So I feel right at home here. Are you all settled in now?

 

Some updates: My daughter had her last treatment last Friday and said she just broke down...finally! She is going to a cancer relay camp out with her hubby and some friends and understand there will be hundreds of cancer survivors and friends and family of victims. She's all excited to go and celebrate! My brother's first pretreatment will be on June 8th, then the one and final radiation treatment (they decided to fore go the chemo) will be a week later.

 

 He will have to be house bound for two weeks and careful to wash his hands and after using the bathroom is instructed to flush 3X. A little scary. I am so upset (been in a funk the past few days) because his supplemental insurance dragged their feet for weeks and the cancer has spread to the other side of his neck. I have been wanting to scream! I am praying so hard that he beats this, but this time I am not feeling so optimistic. He is feeling great right now and had a wonderful and fun weekend at Disney World with his wife and her niece. He's a big kid.  

 

Hope you both had a very nice Easter also. Your mom sounds like a wise woman and 90, how great!

Hi OneLife:

 

I am hoping all is going better and better with your bro and daughter. I did live in the Spokane area for a several years prior to caring for dad. I love the weather over there - hot in the summer and real snow in the winter... Fife is on the I-5 corridor between Seattle and Tacoma.

 

I am still getting settled in which is why I haven't been on the boards much. I am somewhat challenged by the simplest tasks! Yesterday I spent three hours just shortening the mini-blinds. Luckily I had help installing them!

 

Well, I do remember the frustration of dealing with the insurance companies. However, I figured out dad had good health insurance early on because the doctor's were always so attentive and seemed to like making unnecessary appointments - lol. Hang in there dear heart...

 

I do hope everyone is getting healthier in your family. Have you ever tried juicing? Certain combinations are supposed to help beat cancer. Somewhere I have a book (probably boxed up somewhere) but if you are interested, I will find it. I do agree about being sisters. I have gotten more emotional support from this site than from either of my sisters sad to say... 

 

Anyhow, we're here for you. I am sorry to be so slow these days. I figure another few months before I get situated since I have so much to do and so little ambition sometimes. But, actually, all is good!

 

Hugs, Glenda 

Last edited by glenderella

Thanks Glenda, at this point all we can do for my brother is be there for him and leave the rest to God. I haven't tried the juicing thing and don't think my brother has, but his daughter has gotten he and his wife to buy more 'natural' foods and that's a good thing too. You will get it all together and like you said, it will take some time but will all be worth it in the end.

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