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I have so many questions and issues I don't know where to start. I am a saty at home mom with 2 kids 7ears old and 7 months old. Newly married for less than a year and taking care of my Grandparents. My Granpa can't really walk, he has Parkinsons and is going downhill fast. My Grandmother had a stroke last year and is not quite all there.
I am so overwhelmed and depressed I don't know what to do. We put an in-law suite on their house for them. Construction is not quite done yet. It is livable though. My Grandmother is verbally abusive to my Grandfather (He has accidents). I feel she goes around the house looking for things to complain about. My family and I don't have one room in her house to call our own besides our bedrooms. My Grandfather is so depressed we think he is trying to O.D. on his medication. Doctors tell him that there is not much else they can do. He is 81. I am only 29 years old. I don't have time to eat, I have a 7 month old so I don't sleep, I would go to the doctor but who has time. I take them to approx 3 doctors appiontments a week. I have someone who comes 3 days a week to help with housework and hygenie for them but that isn't enough and I can't afford anything else. Medicaid is tapped out for home healthcare. Any suggestions? I gonna crack soon.
Original Post
Hello Southerncrazymama:

My goodness, you have got your hands full being sandwiched in between children and grandparents. Neither job is easy, but combined - well - that is a lot to put on the shoulders of someone so young.

Are there senior centers around that you could take your grandparents to once a week or so? They are great places to socialize and, oftentimes, there are games and live music which make them very enjoyable. They can go there and get a cup of coffee for free! Then, you could head for the beach or playground with your children and husband which would be good for everyone.

What is the situation with the rest of your family? Are there other family members that can help in some way? What about the other issues, such as medical and legal power of attorney?

You are right to be concerned about your grandfather's state of mind. Have you and/or your husband sat down and discussed your concerns regarding his overmedicating himself? Many times the elderly do get depressed and with parkinsons, depression is quite common also. If you haven't yet, go to http://www.parkinson.org/ website. There may be resources there in your area that could help. Email them if you are unable to find any resources in your area. It is okay to ask for help... you certainly need it!

You are so good to be caring for your grandparents along with your family and especially during the first year of a new marriage. Hang in there! But, for now, take a deep breath and try to relax for a few minutes. Let the house go and the children entertain themselves for a while. Make time out for yourself every day. Most things can wait while you take a break and unwind for a bit... Be good to you!

Take Care, Glenda

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