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Hi There Gail, how are you? And Thank You for the Welcome. I care for my able/disabled Dad. He's in the moderate stage of Alzheimers, among other things. I just realized that your the founder/creator of this site, Thank You. You Take Care

Sincerely tovus

Last edited by Former Member

Welcome tovus!  You have found a safe place to discuss the challenges and rewards of being a caregiver.  I honestly don't know how I would have coped the past several years if it weren't for Gail and the other angels here.  Please share your details, as you feel comfortable doing so.

 

Warm regards and a gentle cyberhug in case you need one,

Barb

Hello Barb, and Thank You so much for the Welcome and your kind words. I'd be glad to share. I'm the caregiver to my 90 year old Dad who besides being in the moderate stage of AD, he is also in the beginning stage of Osteoporosis, has an enlarged prostate, a hernia, and he is totally blind from WWll, and he is in a wheelchair, though if he had to, I know he could walk. In 4½ years, I have had maybe 25-30 days off, and that's because he was in the hospital. But I do get a lot of time off. Sometimes I get so stressed, but there's no way i'll put him in a home. I'll be taking Dad outside for his 20 minutes of sun here at about 12:30 PDT. I do this on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. My sister comes over on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays to give me 4 hours off on each day, woohoo!!! Well, that's our story So Barb, how is the coping going? Are you caring for someone?

Last edited by Former Member

Hi, Tovus.

 

Thanks for the additional background info.  Oh, gee, dementia and visual impairment together.  I imagine that will be especially challenging over time.  I think it's terrific that you have scheduled breaks during the week.  Are you getting any additional assistance from the VA?  Your local DAV might also have resources.

 

My situation is stable and improving, but would take a small book to explain.  I'll do that in another post, since there are recent developments - mostly good.  In a nutshell, my husband (63) is disabled with his back plus heart problems and type II diabetes.  I was also responsible for my mother's care until she passed in late '09 and finally about done with grieving for her... well moving on, anyway.

 

You said you were stressed.  Gail has some good journaling exercises and other useful info on the main site at www.care-givers.com.

 

Gotta go.  Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs,

Barb

Hi Barb, I hope you and yours are having a nice day I'm glad things are going better for your husband and you. I'm sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. Wow, first your Mom, now your taking care of your husband. I hope your husband is feeling a lot better real soon. That diabetes is everywhere. I'm in a Forum where I have read peoples posts where they say they have diabetes, but it's not a health Forum. My brother has type 2 diabetes. Time does take care of the grieving, I too know first hand. Yes, I sure do like those 4 hour breaks, I usually use that time to read, I love to read!!! I don't get help from the VA. My Dad doesn't like anyone coming to his house. I wish I knew where I could get some financial help for myself, since I cannot go to work. But i'm getting along

You and Yours Take Care

Sincerely tovus

Hi Tovus:

 

Happy to meet you!

 

I, too, cared for my father. He passed away a few years ago - I still miss him terribly...

 

I understand the stress that you are under. Caring for a parent in his 90's has got to be most challenging! I love the way you described him as able/disabled! My father managed to avoid the wheelchair but many times I held my breath as he walked across a room...

 

However, I must say that you need to do whatever you can to de-stress - it can be so harmful to your health! A cup of chamomile tea is nice and calming at the end of a stressful day. So I encourage you to do whatever you can to counteract those stressful moments. In fact I found a great web page that has seven simple suggestions @ http://www.dumblittleman.com/2...tress-instantly.html - I like suggestion #6...

 

Anyhow, just know you are not alone!

 

Hugs, Glenda

Hello Glenda, how are you doing? Thank You so much for your kind words and I am so sorry on the passing of your Father. Thanks for sharing. I understand about your concern when your Father walked, I have to worry about my Dad falling asleep in the wheelchair in the open, so he doesn't fall out, he has before. It's impossible to keep an eye on them every minute. At this time of the morning, I am stress free. This is my "me" time. Dad is asleep, and it's so quiet right now. I hope you don't have to many feathers flying around from punching them pillows I try to stay calm, but my Dad is not the, what I call "best patient". I do belong to other sites, and I love to read, so that helps with the stress. I do pretty good most of the time, but then there's times I wish I could just run away If I could just get 2 straight days off I would try the VA, but my Dad doesn't like people in the house, and I won't put him in a home, he's not that bad off. And thanks for the hug, who can't use one of those every now and then.  You and Yours Have a Wonderful Day.

You All Take Care

Sincerely tovus.

Hi Tovus:

 

I am doing very well. Thank you for asking! After I sold my father's house, I was able to find a little place of my own... I got lucky with the market!

 

Now I am trying to repair my relationship with my 92-year old mother. She lives in her own apartment in an assisted living facility. They provide meals and house cleaning services so she is well taken care of. She, surprisingly, made her own decision to live there and is still in very good shape overall and quite independent...

 

Anyhow, she's quite a contrast from my father who was determined to live in his home until passing - so his wishes were honored. In a nutshell, I came to care for him after his hip was broken in a home invasion and shortly thereafter it was discovered that he had cancer. It was difficult to watch someone so big and strong become so weak and frail.

 

Meanwhile, time heals and I have gotten used to not having Dad around - more or less! However, my caregiving experience has changed my life forever... That's why I am still here providing a litte support to others now and then!

 

Hugs, Glenda

Hello Glenda, I hope you have a really nice day I'm glad your doing alright, and Your Welcome. That's nice that you got a little place of your own. I sure hope you repair that relationship with your dear Mom. People in our lives come and go, but we only get one Mom and Dad. It's good that your Mom decided for herself to live where she's at, and yes, it does sound like she is quite the independent person. It sounds like a pretty good deal to me. Your Dad is a little like my Dad, cause he isn't about to go nowhere. Geez, a home invasion, I would imagine that was a real shock! My Dad had hip surgery from a fall, he stayed home for 9 days before it got to painful. We had no idea he had hurt himself that bad. Your telling of your Dad's cancer sounds a little like our situation, about the big and strong growing weak and frail. My Dad is still physically strong in his upper body. I agree on time healing. We always keep people in our hearts, and time does take care of the rest. I think it is nice of you to still want to be of support to others, you must have a good heart. Thanks for the cyber hug. A hug right back to you. I don't know if you have noticed or not, but I am not a very good writer or talker, I think it has something to do with growing up and still being extremely shy

You Have A Wonderful Day

Take Care

Sincerely tovus

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