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how much have we changed?
I remember the days when people were'nt affaid to come by and say hi and talk for a while. but now they cant see past the wheelchair. Its a strange world, what makes us affraid of people that are different? I guess now that I'm one of the different ones,I dont understand that fear anymore. I wish things were the same as before, phisically. but mentally I'll never be the same....I'll always know now what all of you here are up against....its a knowledge only a caregiver can understand.
God bless Warren

[This message has been edited by warren (edited 10-08-2000).]
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HI Warren,

You are so right. They disappear as if they never new us. You know, it is very hard for them to face the fact that it could happen to them. When they look at the situation it makes them face the fact that they are not immortal and tragic things do happen to people.

I would also like things to be the way they were. It would be nice for Eddie and I to take off on a weekend and go to the mountains without having to worry about what to do with MIL. We went to the mountains once with her and she spoiled the trip. Now if we want to go, we have to pay all outdoors for a sitter for 3 days. Can't afford that so we stay home and take an hour here and there.

How much have we changed, you asked? Very Much. We can now feel their pain at a deeper level. We are no longer afraid of seeing people in WheelChairs, people unable to feed themselves, people bedridden, people with Alz. or MS, etc, etc. We have learned to see them with the eyes of the Spirit Within Us and to communicate with them on the same level.

Through our new understandings we are more compassionate toward others.

You are greatly Blessed, Warren, and so are all CAREGIVERS.

Love & Peace
Thank you for this post Warren...I can remember when I was a little girl how people were quiet when they saw another disabled individual in a wheel chair or on crutches.

Somehow with time, I came to understand that they were human and there was a soul, a need for love and acknowledgement no different then myself or perhaps any other human being.

Living in New York City, I witness many more with disabilities, be it on the bus, daily and much more. I realized it warmed my heart to acknowledge everyone and to look past the disability into their being.

I can remember as a youngster, our grandparent's generation actually paused in silence and gave thanks for their blessings. They always pulled us away from seeing the person who was in a wheelchair or having difficulty in some way due to their disability.

Now that I look back on it, it was really a lack of understanding...which probably stemmed from their parents...these thought patterns or beliefs are handed down from generation to generation. It isn't until we are willing to take responsibility and see things from a different perspective, that there will be changes as to our acceptance.

I remember when my dad had to use a wheelchair for the first time with the assistance of hospice. My dad was such a big man, over six feet and weighing a good 200lbs most of his life. The Hospice nurse and I looked at him in his despair at having to sit in the chair. He didn't want to go outside in it for others to see him. We reminded him that he had lived his life based on what other's thought and their approval..that it was all poop...and he willingly sat in the chair and said " I got it! Wheel me down to the doughnut shop. I want my favorite crueller and coffee."

Marie Kennedy wrote an article at the site about her time at the local mall with her son who has cerebral palsey. Her response to the experience impacted me so.

Her article can be found at:

Hopefully sharing about it, will open others to shift their perspective and open them to compassion and love.

Warmest wishes,

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