When I first started coming to this site a lot of people asked me about losing my mom..how I coped...and most were curious if it does get easier over time..the loss I mean..
I will try to answer that as best I can..
my mom and I were always close, were best friends..we'd been through a lot together..I'm an only child which made it even harder, to watch my parents age and become ill..
The 3 years my husband and I cared for my mom brought us all even closer..I cherish all my memories of my mom..noone can ever take those away from me...yes I still miss her terribly..some days I would give anything to just make tea and sit and have one of our hours long chats...she always made me feel better about pretty much anything..I still cry thinking about her..but not as often...she wouldn't want me being sad...she knows we did our best for her..
In my moms case, when she first became ill I knew she had "fight" in her...she opted for a trach and fought courageously to breathe without a machine...things went uphill with hard work on everyones part..but you know, you sense when a person is becoming tired, when their body is giving up..it's very hard when you want more then anything for them to keep fighting..yet you know deep down they just can't do it any more...I got to the point I just wanted her suffering to end..when every day and every minute of the day is a struggle for every breath..there is no quality of life..I know my mom is in a better place and there is no more suffering for her..
My husband and I both miss her...our lives are more special now having had her in them and having been her caregivers..
You are forever in our hearts Mom..
love, Gary and Mary-Ann