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My dad is still in the hospital. They moved him last night across the street to the long term care facility. I couldn't bring myself to go there today. I am mentally and physically exhausted. I lyed in bed and cryed on and off all day today. I just needed a break from it all but boy do I feel guilty about it. And of course my mother didn't help any. I tried telling her how I was feeling and she says to me, "poor thing, all alone and no up there with him."
I so needed her to tell me it was ok for me to take a day away from it all but I should have known better. But in any event, I still couldn't pull myself to get up and go to the hospital. I do plan on going tomorrow like I usually do. I have only missed 3 days in 4 weeks and 5 days. And next week my husband is having his knee surgery.

[This message has been edited by lalady (edited 06-15-2006).]
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Hi Lalady:

Wow, I can relate to your feeling. We just push and push ourselves sometimes and some days it is just too much. It is exhaustion and it isn't easy to get over...

Make sure that you spoil yourself a little bit. Reward yourself when you do go visit your dad. And do not forget to breathe occasionally.

Forget about your mother's words. She doesn't realize how hard emotionally and physically this can be on you. Besides, the old programs have always worked so well...

I hope all goes well with your hubby. It is okay to focus on what is going on with you and your immediate family for a bit. Take care of yourself... Grab some hot chocolate or treat yourself to a mocha in the morning. You deserve to take a break when you can. I hope your manyana is good..

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Hello Lalady... it's so imporant for us to listen to our inner voices, such as the one that said you shouldn't have looked for your mother's reassurance.

Parents know how to push buttons.. it's a part of the family dynamics.. but you and only you are the one that can change the pattern by not reacting ... just responding... you know you are doing important work and it does take a toll... if something were to happen to you... who could oversee and care for them both? You can tell her that as well... do what you need to do to heal and regroup.. thoughts and prayers are with you...

blessings

gail

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