It's 10 months since ma moved into the frail care facility, and as previously reported ma was having difficulities getting used to her new circumstances. In the first few months of her being there she was diagnosed with breast cancer, Iwent through the motions of getting her to the appointments,
medication was advised and so she started taking more pills, these cost R3000 a month
On top of her usual MS medication. Last month she was deemed much improved and the tumour was virtually gone and after one more month of therapy she will be taken off the meds. Then there were two scares, she gets flu, and it looks like shes had a stroke... antibiotics, and a couple of nights on a nebulizer later she was much better. On an emotional level there was still a lot of negativity from her towards me, - demanding attention, airtime and tuckshop money on a weekly basis.
Then things changed:
At the beginning of this month I started my driving lessons again (doing much better)
And I was approached by management at my company to take over the position of Financial Controller. This position was still held by someone else who wasn't performing to there expectations and so they expected me to sweep in and set things to rights. Which I am currently still doing. I was promoted to being in a supervisory position from being just another skivvy bookkeeper.
I sms'd ma about the change in my career and was amazed at her outpouring of support and
Affection. Some of her messages to me: "That is good news, u deserve it, u work very hard, they must know you are extra special."
"So how is your first day? And your assistant? I'm proud of you. Mama"
When I told her I was trying to get my licence and then a car ( since my salary increased quite nicely)
She sent: "Well you have given me more 2 b joyful. My little girl is now my big girl. Love you, I am sure Jehovah looks down on you with a smile. Love you mama"
I've saved these messages as I haven't heard such affectionate words from my mother in a long time. I realised that her support and affection was what I had been craving for so long. Needless to say our relationship has improved tremendously. When she asks for airtime she asks in a nice way, not demanding. Saying pretty please, it makes a huge difference.
So I'm finally enjoying being with my mother again, and some of the family is also coming to the party more. Just last week my cousin and his wife came through and took ma out to lunch, spending the whole day with her. They were totally bushed from multiple car to wheelchair and back again transfers but they looked very happy at the end of the day, and ma was more than happy to drift off to sleep at 5pm.
So more evidence that there is life after caregiving... love to everyone