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Tagged With "Suffer From Back Pain"

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Re: Knee Contractures

Former Member ·
Subject: RE: knee contractures Message: Terry Hope things are improving for you and your mother. Try to access: thriveonline.com since I believe this is where info was listed. Short excerpts from a paper and if you could find a way to get whole article it may be helpful. Title: Contractures and loss of function in patients with Alz. Source: Journal American Geriatric Society June 1995 43 (6) 650-5 Authors?: Souren L E, Frnssen E H, Reisberg B; Try also to access the ALZ online site and...
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Re: Knee Contractures

Former Member ·
Subject: RE: knee contractures Message: Terry I'm sorry to hear about your mother's difficulty and especially her pain. I don't know anything about contractures but I'm going to find out right away since my father is now bed bound. What you said about the intense pain disturbs me. Why must that be? Maybe you could call a hospice provider and ask them to refer you to pain specialists or perhaps they have knowledge to share. I only mention hospice since they are focused on pain control. I have...
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Re: Knee Contractures

Former Member ·
Subject: RE: knee contractures Message: Hi Terry, I spoke with one of the RNs at hospice and he explained leg contractures more thoroughly. I didn't come away with any suggestions for you. He said this is not uncommon in bed bound patients and is why Medicare forces nursing homes to get people out of bed and into chairs for a couple of hours if they can. I'm sorry I don't have any specific information to help you. I did go onto the net to search a bit which you may have already done. Call up...
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Re: Letting Go!

Former Member ·
Subject: RE: Hard to let go.. Message: Hello Maija I just want you to know that you aren't alone. Perhaps it is the caregiver in us as well as the rescuer that keeps us going back for more. However, I think when a person such as yourself has a very high consciousness or spiritual awareness, we are always wanting to support others to get it...Is it wrong...there is no right or wrong...just merely being who you are is the most important issue at hand. perhaps in reflection when others can see...
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Re: Home Health Aides For A Parent

Former Member ·
Subject: RE: home health aides Message: HELLO SANDRA I am so happy to see you posted...Good for you in getting a health aid. To take charge and make sure that she does the things on her list. The next step is to take your power back. You are in charge. Review the items on the list with her and explain that these are her responsibilities. If she is unable to fufill them, explain that you will have to get someone else to replace her. Your purpose in having an aid is to get the help you need in...
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Re: Home Health Aides For A Parent

Former Member ·
Hi! I ran away for a while but made it back!! We got a new aide because the other one burned out, that is why she wasn\'t doing her job she was getting ready to quit. I did as you suggested Gail and told the new one her duties and am having to keep after her. I checked on her yesterday and she was sitting in the kitchen watching my mother make her lunch. I gave her a task to do and off she went. Her first day was last Monday and she checked her care list the nurse leaves here for the...
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Re: Roll Call

Former Member ·
Hello, this is only my second time here and I am really glad that I found this board. I am 51 with 5 children, one still at home, 9 grandkids whom I adore. My husband is a para since 91 and in constant pain. The constant pain and health problems takes it toll on both of us. It sure is nice to be able to talk to people who understand how "I" feel. Thanks for being here! Joan Joyx5x9@aol.com
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Re: Home Health Aides For A Parent

Former Member ·
Hi Sandy so glad you are back...was wondering what happened to you. Ah...the task of training...an aid...unfortunatley it falls under your repsonsibility..and I agree with the agency. Each employer has different needs, methods of doing things etc. and you must take charge. Don't be upset with it...just go for it. I don't know how many hours you have an aid in for...but $22/hr is rather steep. I did that with my mom for a while...and finally we found an agency in Brooklyn, which by the ways,...
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Re: How Do You Deal With Your Threatening Siblings & Siblings Who Will Not Help

Former Member ·
Well, folks, what I thought was impossible happened. My brother did in fact come from CA. and visited me after two long years. He stayed for one week. He went with me to take Mom to the Dr. My Mom is forgetting how to swallow her food and is hoarding it in her mouth and then spits it out. The Dr. ordered that her food be pureed so we'll see how she does with that. We visited with her at the nursing home several times. I know he was very nervous about seeing me but I think he was relieved to...
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Re: Home Health Aides For A Parent

Former Member ·
Hi Gail, I can't seem to access the message boards. I can go to everything else okay. I finally got up my nerve and called a new health aide agency and they are going to contact me when they get back to their regular schedualing. Right now they are having to stretch their girls a little thin with it being vacation time. I was hanging in there tolerating sloppy service to keep the nurse and now she is not doing HER job. She is supposed to have trained the aides and when she found out that one...
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Re: Home Health Aides For A Parent

Former Member ·
Hi. I was having a problem with my Dad's aide. She came for 4 days and never came back. Didn't have an aid for 3 days. The problem is Hospice just gives me the runaround. I had people tell me that hospice was wonderful and I believed them. However, it was theirs, not ours that were. Although we do have a wonderful aide now. He is almost a certified nurse so he does more than average for dad. But he doesn't do dishes or laundry apparently. But as long as he is with Dad I can breath and I...
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Re: Home Health Aides For A Parent

Former Member ·
Yes, Carol that is a quandry sometimes, what to do with the free time while the aide is here. And getting one that does their job. They are supposed to be trained before they come out by the agency but then we get the goof offs at times who think no one is there to supervise them. I am not able to get my 'free' time completely for myself right now as I am caring for my grand daugthers through their summer vacation on the days the aide is here. I might get my Fri. time back next week. I was...
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Re: Home Health Aides For A Parent

Former Member ·
Gail, I will be thinking of you in your loss. 16 years of love and comfort is a long time. I can feel your pain through the air. I will be sure say a prayer to the Universe for you to heal quickly. As the Universe provides, maybe a new love will wander into your life to comfort you. By the way, a firm believer of the Universe providing, I was trying to do without an air conditioner and along came my brother Ted with one. It didn't do the whole living room and kitchen combined, and along came...
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Re: Home Health Aides For A Parent

Former Member ·
Hello. This is to update my progress in adapting to the Home Health Aides. I went to another company that was just Companions and Homemakers for 5 months. This new aide seemed to be all I wanted her to be, but was too slack in her duties too. She used a new tactic: she was afraid to be alone with my mother! She needed me here in case my mother fell on the stairs, she said. So I ended up taking Ma up the stairs and waiting until the shower was done and bringing her back down again!! Little...
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Re: Roll Call

Former Member ·
Hi my name is Judy, Haven't posted for a while. I am the sole caregiver to my mother who is 79. Have three sisters who couldn't care less about their mother. Have told me that it is not their problem. I just posted telling everyone what I have decided to do, take my life back and force them to step up to the plate and contribute. Thanks for this board, great place to come to vent
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Re: Update from JB9922

Former Member ·
Hello Judy, I must congratulate you on doing what you needed to do for yourself. Setting boundaries are so vitally important for caregivers. We love and in our love we sometimes enable our loved one so that they become dependent on us. This was your path of choosing and fortunately it is falling into place in a positive way. I do hope you will continue to work on yourself so that your free yourself of the hurt emotions you may still be holding on to. You deserve to release all the pain.
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Re: How Do You Deal With Your Threatening Siblings & Siblings Who Will Not Help

Former Member ·
Hello Jeri, {{{{Jeri}}} Welcome! I hope that each new day brings more love, peace and healing to you on your journey. Your letter reminds me of my brother and so many other sibling stories that other caregivers have shared with me... They simply can not deal with the ideas surrounding death. It's like they their attitude is call me when they have passed and we'll pay our respects and collect the money..It is a cruel thing to say... unfortunately, the truth is that they just cannot cope or be...
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Re: Large Family

Former Member ·
Hi Sharon, How is mom doing? I didn't realize all these people were living with you. I thought only you, hubby, and mom. I guess I have been away for the main stream of things too long. hee hee hee hee My neice has 3 of her children with C.P. and other problems. The 10 year old has had many operations so far and the other 2 are catching up with him. Dealing with little ones with handicaps (any kind..pyhsical or mental) is hard especially for us as grandparents. They have such a special place...
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Re: Caregiver Times 3

Former Member ·
Hi Dawn I am sorry to hear about the lost of your dad. The Caregiving role you have undertaken is a very big one...mom, brother, and, of course, your own daughter. You must be feeling "pulled" back and forth, and in and out with the caregiving aspect of your life. First of all, please email Gail with the information she requested, she may beable to help you get needed services. They are out there, believe me, as I have had to hunt them down for my disabled children and myself. A lot of...
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Re: How Do You Nurture Yourself & Set Boundaries?

Former Member ·
>> Ya know, I didn't know I was allowed to nurture myself. Someone teach me, please.<< Hi Gloria, I've just finished posting to you under "on my own" please read it. You told us the difficulty you were having with mom and brother but I am lost as far as mom's doctors go. Are they giving you a problem also? You have such a full plate already. Oh, Sweetie, you certainly are allowed to nurture yourself. You have already started by posting here on the boards. You must feel 10 tons...
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Re: Mom's driving me nuts

Former Member ·
Social Security may beable to help you by making you Payee. Are all her Legal Issues taken care of? Does she live alone or does she have someone living with her? Does she have family and friends living close by? Are you the only child to care for her? I have an appointment next Tues. with social security in regards to becoming representative payee. Yes, all of her legal issues are taken care of...she lives alone and does really well in her own invirement. I live approx. 11 miles from her, my...
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Re: Mom's driving me nuts

Former Member ·
Since I made my first post the following has happened. Took car away three weeks ago today. The following Wed., we moved MOM into an assisted living apt. and she got so mad she attacked me..scratched my face and arm..the arm real bad. Finally, this past Tue. a psychiatrist (sp) saw her, interviewed her and admitted her to a psych ward of hospital. She has sever, advanced dementia. Since she keeps threatening to run away and is not happy with any living arrangement except to go back home, I...
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Re: Mom's driving me nuts

Former Member ·
This is Sat., March 25th update Mom should be released from hospital sometime next week. I have found a lovely, new alzheimers special care center that just was licensed. Walking into this place is like walking into a luxuary hotel. Mom will have a large semi-private room, three meals a day, lots of activity. But...she is still fighting the leaving home idea so I guess she will not be happy any place I take her. She definitely has to go to this Center..not go back home. Tests show her short...
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Re: AREAL FRIEND, INDEED

Former Member ·
DEAREST FRIENDS, THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR VOTES FOR CODY! MY QUESTION IS....."WHERE IS EVERYONE ELSE?" MY HOPE IS THAT YOU ARE ALL DOING OK & PERHAPS TOO BUSY TO POST. WELL, I DO HOPE THAT YOU COMEOUT & VISIT THE MESSAGEBOARDS AND PLACE YOUR VOTE FOR CODY. AS WELL ALL NEED THE GIFT OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IN OUR LIVES. KAREN, A SPECIAL THANK YOU FOR YOUR OUTREACH TO ME. {{{KAREN}}}}} THANK YOU HONEY, AND I JUST KNOW THAT WE NEED TO KEEP PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER. BABYSTEPS...
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Re: Book, Video's or Audio Cassettes

Former Member ·
Hi Judee That was a good idea for them to "create" an office for him to go to every day but it sounds as if he is progressing and this type of daily setting may not be in his best interest especially if it is an all day affair. Yes, you are now a caregiver. I would like to suggest that you spend time at this web site and check out the "Caregiver Articles" section. There are many interesting articles that will be of help to you as a Caregiver. Also, now that you have found the messsage...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
Thank you so much for responding. Today Mother has a new area of pain, this time between and beneath her breasts. At shower time tonight she was had better control of her movement, but she has lost MORE WEIGHT since I last helped her bath on Thursday. Her radiation is not a "curing" effort, it is considered "palliative", Lord I think I spelled that right, I never wanted to know how to spell that word as it applies to life these days. It doesn't matter who told us what (The oncologist said...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
Dear Sweet Dee, I am so sorry things appear to be happening so quickly...first I must tell you I am not a professional...that I share from my own personal experiences and from the heart, all that I can to assist others. You must check with the oncologist and confirm that medicare will kick in once she is off the treatment...and you must check with the doctor and medicare to make sure the medicine is covered. I assume it is...but I don't know all since we may be in different states, under...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
Moma saw the oncologist yesterday. I could not believe my ears when Moma told me that she was going back to the 20mg pain medicine instead of the 80mgs, she told the doctor the 80mg cost $475.00 and she was going to try to 20mg/5mg dosage again. Low and behold I was over their a few minutes ago and she was reclined in the chair and you could tell she was in pain. I asked her what she had taken and she said the 20 mg. I told her not to fool around with her pain and let it get ahead of her...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
Somebody must have "gathered together" in prayer because the situation got turned around before I went back to Moma's last night. The pain medicine has her comfortable. I told her I was so glad, she said "You need to turn your worry over me to the Lord, I have". You see, my Mother has not considered herself "saved" since she was in her thirties. There was a split at the church I was brought up in, etc. you've all heard the same story from someone you know. Also, she let my Granny's...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
{{{{DEE}}}} It is so wonderful to hear that you are able to share and communicate with your mom as you have begun to and that she has been so responsive...you have been guided and I have faith in you that you will make the right choices along with the right ones your mom will make for herself as you move along...cherish each moment...it is a blessing for you both. Am also so pleased to hear the meds are working and that she isn't in as much pain...could it be that the radiation was causing...
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Re: an update from Judy on Arizona

Former Member ·
Judy....it is so good to hear from you...most of all to know that your mom has adjusted and you are enjoying exploring your own life once again. You took an incredibly big risk for the highest good of both of you and this is truly a blessing....keep us posted. Richest Blessings IN LOVE & LIGHT GAIL PS Where in Arizona are you living...I miss living in Sedona...was in the wilderness for several years...hope to get back to it soon.
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
{{{{{{DEE}}}}} I am sending lots of warm, loving prayers to you...I am so glad you responded...There will be many days that you are up and you are down...just as your mom may experience the same. I am pleased the endoscopy worked...hubby and some others I know have had it and it helps so much in stretching the esophagus so that swallowing is easier.. June is around the corner although it probably seems like an eternity to you. Is there anyway to bring your grandson over to your mom's so you...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
THANK YOU GAIL! I needed to be told that the past is history, the future is mystery, and the present is a gift....I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR IT TODAY!! Repeat, repeat and repeat again to me if you think it is necessary. I took my grandson by for a short visit today, we just got back home at 2:20 when I read your post. Thanks for checking on me after not hearing from me for awhile. I'm better this afternoon...I swear the emotional rollercoaster ride is the worst part of this experience, so close...
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Re: Care Givers care

Former Member ·
You have been given some very terrific information. Please go back and read the responses. From Mel....Needs Restating, the info. is fantastic. There is an national organization for caregivers whose husbands or wives are ill or disabled. It is called the Well Spouse Foundation,(WellSpouse.com) and it addresses the special needs of couples whose relationships have been affected by disease or accidents. There is a website, please contact me if you want more specific information. The main...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
Hi Dee, You are such a special light...I would imagine that you need to keep finding out as much as you can to help your mom and yourself during these transformational times..Part of it, is because in this way you are doing everything possible to maintain the quality of mom's life and the experience for both of you and this is such a blessing. The commaraderie of everyone is very special as well...the support of others understanding what you are going through is so important...and it is also...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
Hey Sister, Moma went to have her second session of chemotherapy yesterday(consists of three treatments, three days in a row). Her white count is still too low so it was postponed until next week. This is the second postponement. Her right leg is weaker and weaker. Thursday, Friday and Saturday she said she was just too tired to get in the shower so she took a "bird bath". I went over earlier on Sunday and got her in the shower. Her last radiation treatment to the spine was on Wednesday. It...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
Hi Dee... Sorry your mom is going through all this...is it truly what she wants...is this comprimising the quality of her life? Do the pain medications not work at all? What does Hospice say about all of this and her doctor? Try to find out more if you can. I know it is difficult with you having to care for your grandson, etc., but see if you can find out if this is really benefitting your mom... these treatments don't sound as if they are helping. Hope to see you in the chat at the site...
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Re: Gate Keeper

Former Member ·
Dear Elizabeth Welcome...you have found a haven for caring support and I am sure many will respond to your needs.. Many siblings come back in the last minute.. some come to heal the relationship which is usually very much needed, others come seeking an inheritance etc. and there are many other reasons at hand. My suggestion is that those of you who have been caring for her all along, go over and have an open conversation with your mother...if she is still coherent and independent, I am sure...
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Re: First timer-Mother has lung cancer

Former Member ·
Hey Sisters, I've an unhurried moment so I thought I'd update you. Friday, May 5, 2000, I took over the "coordinating" of Moma's case from Daddy. He couldn't tell me what she was going to have radiated that day, so I made arrangements for the grandson (called my sister and she worked from home)and I went with her to the appointment. They in fact only marked her right pelvic area and told her to come back on Monday-May 8th to get the first of ten radiation treatments to the "spots" on the...
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Re: Gate Keeper

Former Member ·
(((((((((( Elizabeth ))))))))))))) Please keep using this board to post. It is an excellent place to "vent" and we all vent here. These people are the friendliest people around and they are great caregivers with very big hearts...JUST AS I FEEL YOU ARE. Please go back and re-ready Gail's post. It makes a lot of sense and she worded it in a gentle manor. For the VA daughter to come in and "take over" disregarding all you (meaning everybody who has been doing all the caring) have done and also...
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Re: Injured Husband

Former Member ·
Hello Patricia Welcome..{{{{{Patricia}}}}}. I am sending lots of warm loving hugs your way. I tried to get you while you were on line last night to have you come in the chat room, but I was unsuccessful. You really have your hands full.I am so sorry to hear of your husbands's tragic accident.It would be extremely difficult to just have to adjust and meet his needs as well as your own, but having to care for your parents as well has you pulled back and forth as to where you have to be at any...
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Re: Injured Husband

Former Member ·
Patricia emailed me back and has given me permission to post her response. Thank you for emailing me. I did get your invite to chat room, but my husband woke up just then and needed me, so I had to sign off. We live in Southern California in the high desert, Victorville, about an hour north of Riverside and on the way to Las Vegas. My husband is a welder maintenance mechanic and works for a large cement plant here in town. He had just gotten the job which he was very happy with as he like...
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Re: Injured Husband

Former Member ·
Dee asked me to post this letter here as she didn't know how to copy and paste and was at the hospital continuously with her mom. Dear Patricia, My name is Denise Faust and I live in Catawba, South Carolina. I used to be a part-time caregiver to my Mother, but as of fifteen minutes ago my life has taken a "sudden change". I am now her full-time care-giver. Up until March 20, 2000, I have enjoyed the luxury of staying at home and caring for my grandchildren. This began in 1996 when I kept a...
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Re: Aren't Doctor's People Too?

Former Member ·
Hey Karen, Seems like you are feeling about like I am toward the medical community. You know, you are a consumer when it comes to "purchasing" a doctors services. Don't pay to be insulted and talked down to. Lord only knows why some of the physicians will say black if you say white, and white if you say black. Moma's oncologist has some sort of "I'm the boss" thing going on. Moma said, "You know she seems like she needs to have controll over things. Don't mind her, you know she just had a...
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Re: MOM WON'T COOPERATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Former Member ·
{{{{{Karen}}}}} As you know, I believe you have to take care of yourself first. I am not quite sure if your mom is truly coherent a good deal of the time or else she wouldn't put you through what you are going through in caring for her. It may sound a little cold hearted as you are working so hard to keep her at home, but there is a strength that resides within her that keeps her going and going. You may want to ask Hospice for support as to what you should do since you don't have counseling...
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Re: MOM WON'T COOPERATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Former Member ·
Just to update you, took Mom to the Dr. yesterday (Monday) and she's been having a TIA which means she doesn't comprehend anything that is said to her. But he told her she had two choices, one was an assisted living facility, which won't work because she can't do anything for herself, and 2 - she can go to Respite in Mobile for a few days. She has agreed to Respite and they are working on getting her there as soon as possible She will be gone 5 days but has to be back by July 10th for the...
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Re: MOM WON'T COOPERATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Former Member ·
Thanks Gail, But Mom still isn't understanding anything or rather comprehending and doing what is supposed to be done and they can't get her into Respite until after July 10 so that means the middle of July. Just hope I can hang in there until then. Have tried to make her understand that it's killing me and she understands for that one minute and the next she's up trying to use the potty by herself. Have reached my wits end but will just take it one hour or minute at a time. The pain is...
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Re: Dee's Moma Finally Sees A Real Doctor

Former Member ·
Girls, Girls, Girls...hold on for the latest. Moma sees the neurosurgeon Tuesday, he seems puzzled, asks us "How we ended up at his office". I reply, "We were sent here for evaluation of a brain tumor the Rock Hill doctors say needs to be surgically removed". The tumor board met Wednesday morning, Dr. Heafner called me at noon and says, "As I told you yesterday, your Mom needs radiation. We are all in agreement with this". I start questioning him about no surgery, are there "hot spots", all...
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Re: Dee's Moma Finally Sees A Real Doctor

Former Member ·
{{{DEE}}} your last three posts are just wonderful news...It thrills me more than you can imagine that momma can read and is in good spirits. She sure is a tower of strengh. what a remarkable woman. I am sure she has so much we could all learn from. Your smilies in particular had me laughing so hard. I could feel your joy and enthusiasm Does the current doctor have any suggestions as to whether or not you should take action against her former doctors...am just curious. I know I have written...
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Re: With Love to Mother

Former Member ·
Oh my sweet angel how I missed you today. I am back home tonight to sleep in my own bed, but Moma, Moma, I can see the profile of your sweet face as the light shown across it on so many nights as I watched you sleep and thanked Almighty God that you are my Mother. You are so proud of us all; we are all so thankful for the past 137 days we had together. We lived life to the fullest and wasn't it so perfect. We lived and loved and looked death in the face and asked, Where is Thy victory? I...
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