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Tagged With "Suffer From Back Pain"

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Re: What to do?

Kathryn ·
Originally Posted by bamagirl: Hi, Kathryn. Welcome. You have found a safe place to vent. I'm sorry you are in this difficult situation. If I can ask... you are a paid caregiver... who pays you? Do you work through an agency, or are you working directly for the client and/or his family? It seems that someone is taking advantage of your presence in the house to do more than your "job description." Is there a contract that spells out your duties? I suspect there are two levels to the problem,...
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Re: Hi everyone!

onelifetolive ·
Welcome back Patch! Your uncle is a very fortunate man to have you looking after him. I hope you all get to enjoy this Christmas season as well! My daugter just had a mastectomy (still in the hospital) and won't be celebrating Christmas...unless when she gets home changes her mind. She and I have been finding the humor in all of this but I know that soon enough it will hit her. She has a loving husband and that puts me at ease. Take good care!
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Re: Hi everyone!

kenp ·
Hello and thanks it is good to be back to see how everyone is doing...Way cool your daughter has a loving husband for that type of support is more than what doctors can provide. I do hope you all have a wonderful Christmas for is more than how we are physically for I tend to just wrap the spirit of the season around me and enjoy. So after pissing off a few of the docs the last couple of months it is great to be back and really hope everyone here is doing good. I have missed the kitchen and...
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Re: Hi everyone!

onelifetolive ·
Hello Patch! I agree, the spirit comes from us not material. My daughter is on the other side of the country but we are in close touch and believe it or not all she is taking for the pain is Tylenol! How fantastic is that! Having people who love and care for you around at a time like this, whether it be in person or by other means of contact is healing in itself...I know you understand that. Hmm, pi**ed the doctors off did you? lol Take care. I know what you mean about the food thing. I am...
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Re: Hi everyone!

onelifetolive ·
Lasagna has become a traditional Xmas dinner for me being I was married to an Italian years back and it stuck...because it is sooo good! lol We only have it once a year and that's why the "drooling" remark. Happy Holidays everyone! I see we share the same hair do bamagirl
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Re: Dealing with "Remembrance" Overload

GRM4LOVE ·
well said Barbara... I went to Israel in the late 60"s and had dated someone while I was there... when i got back to the states and the six day independence war was on the news, the guy I dated was splashed on the television screen dead, from that moment on I never turned on the news on the radio or tv... I realized there was never anything uplifting or inspirational... always information to wear us all down ... sensationalized to boot. When I would go away and leave my animals at home, I no...
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Re: Dealing with "Remembrance" Overload

bamagirl ·
{{{Gail}}} I was a little hesitant to post, thinking especially of you. I didn't know whether you were personally touched by events. I'm glad you and your mother were not right there, but I can only imagine, after seeing it "live" on tv how terrible it would be to see it from your own window. I'm sorry about your Israeli friend. I can feel how much you still hurt from that loss. I heard someone on the radio today talking about the difference between mourning and grief. Mourning is a process...
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Re: Dealing with "Remembrance" Overload

glenderella ·
Hi Gals: I so agree Barb that watching the 9/11 events cannot help anyone's peace of mind! Gail, I am sorry that you and your mother had to live through that experience which was so close to home. Let me share my little experience in which I was much less impacted! I had just come to care for Dad after his injury during the robbery. He was recovering and watching the news (over and over again) while I escaped to the outside to a much more beautiful environment and pretty much missed the...
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Re: Sooo tired

bamagirl ·
{{{Aziza}}}, Sorry your energy level has dropped. One can run on momentum for only so long. I hope you get some rest and "Aziza time" to recharge soon. Peace and love, Barb P.S. I'm thinking about adding your Scottish Blessing to the end of the holiday newsletter to our family. I'm into genealogy and have several lines that go back to Scotland.
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Re: INSANE MEDICAL SYSTEM!

kenp ·
Good morning, The supplies are all paid for through insurance,medicaid, and AARP supplimental.I have been informed by each group along with the National Kidney Foundation to comply by properly disposing of the product.While I can somewhat understand their reasoning I just disagree with the waste.There is just way to much of this going on in the medical system. But it is all good for this is way to beautiful of a season to get drawn down by beaurocracy...lol It is back to the kitchen for me...
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Re: What is fair?

Skwirl ·
Hi Onelifetolive It doesn't sound cold at all! I completely agree with you. After spending yourself bankrupt in helping others the compassion and understanding for others selfishness gets worn very thin.... I have decided that I won't accept my mother treating me badly anymore. She was sending me loads of 'very unkind' text messages, and I finally wrote back that if she insists on hurting me like this I will not answer any of her messages. After several weeks of not answering her she finally...
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Re: What is fair?

GRM4LOVE ·
well said SK... when I was in NYC this past month, I had the opportunity to meet with the aid that helped my mother in the last year with me. It was an incredible meeting.. My mom has been gone almost 7 years and it seems as if it is only a few.. the aid, Juleen and I had become very close and she was working with me this time on my new business. We reflected back on the times. It wasn't until the last few months of my mother's life that she was able to express unconditional love to me.
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Re: What is fair?

glenderella ·
I am not sure I did say that all that well, Gail. What I was trying to say is that it is really difficult to change family dynamics. And, from my personal experience, it doesn’t work well when anger is omnipresent. In my situation, it caused me great pain. However, the boards are a great place to share feelings… I was just trying to say that I have been there Skwirl! In looking back, I wish I would have turned my thoughts and emotions toward acceptance and understanding by stepping back and...
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Re: What is fair?

Skwirl ·
Hi Glenda. Gail and Onelifetolive I do understand... though familes may appear at each other's throats on TV, when the episode is near the end they all show just how much they love one another.... If only real families worked that way. I fully expect that even with a lot of time and effort my relantionship with my mother will never reach that "ideal place" where she gets me and I get her kind of thing. We may find peace but it will be relative I suspect. I also know I could never spend...
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Re: Today is not a good day

glenderella ·
Hi Skwirl and all: My mother always used to say “live long enough to be a problem to your children”. Her rather sarcastic sense of humor, unfortunately, has been passed on to the next generations. Hopefully your mother was just joking about the life insurance – perhaps a quick repartee??? Sadly, the reality of “living long enough to be a problem” is another story! It is certainly not fair for a parent to expect their children to support them in their elder years! Yet, I suppose, your mother...
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Re: Today is not a good day

glenderella ·
Hi Skwirl and All: For some reason I have been having a hard time getting this to post. I am just getting back to the boards after going to a long seminar... It is time for me to take control of some things! I can certainly understand your challenges Skwirl. I am sorry that your mother's nephew could not help you out. I have been there with my own siblings... I think you have the right attitude about it. At least you did reach out to ask for help and sometimes that is all one can do. You are...
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Re: Today is not a good day

onelifetolive ·
Boy Sk, it really sounds like you are thinking much more clearly now and without the guilt which can mess things up. Good for you and as you say, he is just an advisor and the final decision making is in your hands. Amazing about the cell phone! Isn't it something how cutting back a little here and there can add up? I know, I have to stay on it myself to keep the costs down since I am a single woman. proud of you! Stay strong! Hugs
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Re: A Friendly Hello

bamagirl ·
Hi, Tovus. Thanks for the additional background info. Oh, gee, dementia and visual impairment together. I imagine that will be especially challenging over time. I think it's terrific that you have scheduled breaks during the week. Are you getting any additional assistance from the VA? Your local DAV might also have resources. My situation is stable and improving, but would take a small book to explain. I'll do that in another post, since there are recent developments - mostly good. In a...
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Re: A Friendly Hello

Former Member ·
Hello Glenda, I hope you have a really nice day I'm glad your doing alright, and Your Welcome. That's nice that you got a little place of your own. I sure hope you repair that relationship with your dear Mom. People in our lives come and go, but we only get one Mom and Dad. It's good that your Mom decided for herself to live where she's at, and yes, it does sound like she is quite the independent person. It sounds like a pretty good deal to me. Your Dad is a little like my Dad, cause he...
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Re: Hurt

glenderella ·
Hi texusa: I am sorry that you are hurting as the result of a friend's actions. I know that many of us here have lost friends during our caregiving years... It is hard to understand and can be so very hurtful as you know. I think sometimes we learn through heartbreak when are friends are not true. It is not an easy lesson but, perhaps, it is better to know the truth. Just know that we have been through much the same thing at times. All one can do is hold her head up and know that she has...
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Re: Hurt

texusa ·
Originally Posted by glenderella: Hi texusa: I am sorry that you are hurting as the result of a friend's actions. I know that many of us here have lost friends during our caregiving years... It is hard to understand and can be so very hurtful as you know. I think sometimes we learn through heartbreak when are friends are not true. It is not an easy lesson but, perhaps, it is better to know the truth. Just know that we have been through much the same thing at times. All one can do is hold her...
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Re: Hurt

glenderella ·
Hi texusa: I don't talk much about my twin brother. We were fairly close growing up being in the same grade and all. However, when he married his first wife (many, many moons ago), she basically kicked me out of their lives. I remember him just standing there letting it happen. I was in shock! The pain is still as fresh today as it was back then. I don't know if we ever get over the loss of someone we thought we were very close to. I could go on to make excuses for my brother since he...
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Re: hello

Dolly ·
Debby, I will be holding you and your family in my heart today. I am reminded of a lovely book by Melody Beattie called The Grief Club. It is a wonderful book that has little vignette stories of hope. It is not a book that you have to read from cover to cover. You simply turn to the section that you can relate to. It has helped me tremendously to recognize that grief comes in all kinds of clothes. I have grieved the loss of my mother's health. I have grieved the death of close friends. I...
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Re: Hello from Indy

Dolly ·
Glenda ~ Thank you for the reminder about taking care of myself. That has definitely fallen to the wayside. I don't really know how to get my feet back under me in this department. Suggestions are welcome ) Barb ~ Let me know how you manage this whole double caregiver role. I was tickeld pink to have my mother and father in the same room this morning so we could all enjoy a cup of coffee together. I find it important to spend some time with both of them just talking or relaxing vs. cleaning...
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Re: Sad & scared

glenderella ·
Hi Dolly: Take a deep breath... then keep on breathing... Changes are difficult but very rarely are they what we expect. I cannot tell you how many nights I laid awake worrying about things that never came to pass - TG! In fact the changes were much easier than expected but what is difficult now is recovering from the negative effects of all those years of worry! My father declined after he recovered from hospice the first time. When he realized that he could not communicate afterwards due...
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Re: Sad & scared

Dolly ·
Oh girls ~ This has been anything but a "red letter" day. 1) The new home health agency already has failed to provide services on the THIRD morning of scheduling. The nurse said yesterday (to my mother who has dementia) that she can't be with her tomorrow (meaning Monday) because she has a family emergency where she needs to fly to Pennsylvania (said something about a funeral or death in the family). Well, apparently she didn't tell her boss/the company the same thing. She left them in a...
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Re: Sad & scared

Skwirl ·
Hi Dolly Oh boy! I had no idea these home nurses were so unreliable... and rather inventive excuse makers! Is there some body you can complain to? I know I know, what will that help? Service in this country is near non-existent and most don't even bother complaining anymore as nothing is done. I find complaining cathartic - I get my views out there even though hardly anyone will even read it or respond, it just makes me feel better.... Once it even worked... an ambulance dispatcher had a...
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Re: Moving on comes in many forms....

GRM4LOVE ·
wow, wow, wow... congratulations Skwirl... I can feel your enthusiasm and excitement... just don't pressure yourself... it will all happen as it needs to.. Barb congrats as well.. and Glenda... a new puppy... I am jealous... with knowing that I will be traveling back and forth from Mexico to NYC, I haven't allowed myself to get a puppy, kitty or plants in the home.. I miss all but I am living vicariously through other's pets on the streets and in their homes.... I have a huge courtyard of...
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Re: hello

Debby ·
Hello all. Been awhile since I have posted. Things are a roller coaster as I am sure most have you have experienced. The family situation reached a breaking point. My father and I both have decided my brother is not a good person to have in our lives. He had lied and basically stolen from dad. He has emotionally broken us. I tried, I begged through other family members for him to visit or call but he has chosen not to. On the rare occasions he calls he bashes my aunt , sister and myself.
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Re: hello

Tina ·
Originally Posted by Debby: Hello all. Been awhile since I have posted. Things are a roller coaster as I am sure most have you have experienced. The family situation reached a breaking point. My father and I both have decided my brother is not a good person to have in our lives. He had lied and basically stolen from dad. He has emotionally broken us. I tried, I begged through other family members for him to visit or call but he has chosen not to. On the rare occasions he calls he bashes my...
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Re: mixed up and going in circle tht never has a end

Sundra Ann ·
Glenderella good morning first want to say thank you for writing me back not sure how to leave private message so gonna try this, let me no. Ok now my Mom no she is home well actually I have apartment in her home have for over 13 years husband and I course marriage due to situtation in not doing good. course Mom does not think she is home I give up ion that one. Shenstarted out with lung cancer if not treated gve her 3 months to live she beat that then theu throw at me to do radition just a...
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Re: mixed up and going in circle tht never has a end

Sundra Ann ·
Glenda hello just got your message dont no y but almost starte crying it does help when you communciate back so far you are the only one who has answered me, Funny when u said something about feeling numb because so overwhelmed and only 2hands when I woke up this morning i was and still am slow and thats how i feel NUMB COURSE i did already scream at mom today she tries alot to climb out of bed thTS ANOTHER reason have to hv cameras.Im torn now deciding what to do about caregivers I dont...
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Re: mixed up and going in circle tht never has a end

Sundra Ann ·
Good Morning Glenda thanks again thought I would write to you before I actually get up for day because alot of times I wake up fine but when I go upstairs to Moms room as soon as I walk in here room I change those nasty feelings atart arising,sometimes when I go in there in morning I never no wht she will say like she says at times oh gee how did you get here or how did I find her. She told social workeronce she doesnt no why Im so tired I just got back off of vacation from Fla we use to go...
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Re: frustrated and tired

mya ·
Thanks everyone. He is still in ICU as of today. Still on vent attached to the trach. So I go see him at two to of the visiting times every day. At this point not sure whenhe will go to rehab speciality hospital to learn to take care of trach and get his strength back. So one day at a time. Thanks for listening. Bless you all!
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Re: frustrated and tired

onelifetolive ·
Hi Mya, I haven't been here in a long while, but read your sad story. I am sorry for the loss of your mate. It sounds like you are a fighter and are bouncing back rather well. There will be down days as well as good days and that's to be expected.Keep taking good care of yourself. I lost my first love (we were first loves) a year ago Dec. 17 and although we were not together, we stayed in touch and even saw each other for decades. I last spoke to him about two weeks before he passed, and his...
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Re: reached point

glenderella ·
Hi Girlfriend: I am delighted to hear that you are thinking of what is best for you first. You are taking your power back! After a history of putting others first, I have discovered that this does not earn us what we think it should. Typically, people take advantage of our good nature without regard and we become the proverbial doormat. I have noticed that when we do stand up for ourselves and take our power back, it can be very baffling to those who have taken advantage of our nature...
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Re: can you get spirit back

glenderella ·
Hi Ruby: You are not alone. However you have been given such a difficult lot in life. Twenty-six years is a long time! Your BF has been blessed to have you in his life. This is so hard on you... I can only say that those dark moments will not last forever and the blessings you deserve are in front of you. I do believe that what is given to another through love comes back multiplied. Right now, it is about taking care of yourself. Treat yourself to a cup of hot chocolate in the middle of the...
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Re: can you get spirit back

ruby ·
hi glend just wanted to let you know i got my results on my mri i have several pinched nerves and buldging disk. they want to set me up with a neurosurgon. the problem is in my neck and lower back. but i am holding on the best i can. i just talked to a nursing home to see if they would take him for a few days and they said they don't do that anymore. so its is just me. say a prayer for me. just having someone to talk to is alot of help. thank you so much.
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Re: can you get spirit back

glenderella ·
Hi Ruby: Neck and back problems are no fun... I will say a prayer for your health and I so hope a neurosurgeon can help you. I know, as I get older, I depend on my aspirin bottle a lot more. I don't do doctors well! I am so glad that you did reach out and don't quit or get discouraged. Somewhere, there are people out there that want to help out. Churches are another good resource to check out. I know you are tired, but make another call for some help. You need a break! Let me know how it...
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Re: can you get spirit back

onelifetolive ·
Gee, it's been so long since I've been back here. Hi Rudy...what a stressful place you are in. It seems someone is listening and why your bf's son will be moving next door, that is great! I was about to suggest getting round the clock help from an home care agency, but it looks like your problems have been solved. I sure hope all works out for you because you are important and need to take care of yourself. Belated Happy Easter to everyone here.
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Re: Hello I am a newbie

missy ·
I am sorry to say my health is worst than my mom. I have had 2 knee replacements in 18 months and still the pain is so pain my only other option now is to fuse my knee together or have my leg cut off.......i take high amount of pain meds and it help but it not what i want to do forever........ i am also in 3rd stage kidney failure with so many other medical issues.....i am going to be 60 and my mom at 81 is in much better shape except her memory is going and she get confused......one more...
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Re: New to this site

Diane ·
Ruby, thank you I had gotten to the point where I packed my things and left.I ended up coming back because I felt guilty for leaving him when he is sick.He asked why I left and I told him I couldn't take his put downs and his hateful remarks.he apologized and said that I was the only one he could get angry at and he took advantage of the fact that he thought I wouldn't leave.Now when he starts getting mean I tell him and he tries to be nicer.The only time I have real problems is after...
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Re: New to this site

Diane ·
ThankThank you I will make some calls.I live in Colorado Springs,I have already put a cil into cancer care I'm waiting for there call back
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Re: New to this site

Diane ·
I met with someone from can care yesterday.She was a very nice lady and helped me by just letting me talk and vent.She gave me her # so I can all her whenever I'm feeling down.I don't know what's going to happen to my husband but its nice to know that there is someone going through what I am to talk to.My husband goes back to the dr. On the 4th so I will know more about what if anything they are going to do with his rising psa.I will keep you posted.Thank you.
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Re: Hello Everyone

GRM4LOVE ·
Hello rafantsan and welcome, Your post has touched me greatly. You weren't ranting. You shared your situation and what you are experiencing and this is very healthy. I must admit, I had typed a whole reply and when I began searching for links to include in my response, I lost my post so I am rewriting in text and will copy and paste to you. Your love for your wife is incredibly special. To know of her disease prior to marrying her and willing to take on total responsibility tells me about...
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Re: what to do

glenderella ·
Hello Sundra Ann: I was listening to Dr. Phil the other day and he said something that really resonated with me so I will share it with you – he said: “Be the star of your own show!” Isn’t that a novel thought – put you first for a change… Maybe it is time to see what the options are for your mother’s care. Regarding relationships, as you know I cared for my father for half-dozen years and never made it through that period with the boyfriend I had at the beginning. However, I don’t think we...
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Re: How Do You Deal With Your Threatening Siblings & Siblings Who Will Not Help

Former Member ·
Terry, I'm new to this site and when I read your letter it really hit home. I care for both my parents and have a sibling that lives out of state and does not participate except to offer suggestions on how I could do things better. While I accepted my role several years back, I do admit the ongoing care is draining me. I just didn't have energy to carry the anger against my sister any longer and decided to minimize my contact with her. I know this was the right decision for me. Given the...
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Re: How Do You Deal With Your Threatening Siblings & Siblings Who Will Not Help

Former Member ·
Email: jb9922 Message: Dear Gail, Thank you for the kind words. I am in Counseling, in order to be able to deal with Mother and all the problems concerning her. I am going to FL this month for two weeks to be with my sons. Not one of my sisters have made the effort to come out here to stay with Mother. I have not seen my sons for two and a half years, so I am going. The sisters have known since March that I was going in June so this is not just a last minute thing. After I come back from FL...
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Re: Roll Call

Former Member ·
Message: Greetings. I am a 43 yr old caregiver for my husband who has FMS/CFIDS/ADHD/SAD/apnea and the list goes on. In a nutshell, he is in constant chronic debilitating pain.
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Re: How Do You Nurture Yourself & Set Boundaries?

Former Member ·
Message: SANDY You are becoming a source of inspiration for me as well. I was thinking when I last lit a candle to relax other than when in a tub....I am going to be doing it more once again. I wonder when we don't do things for ourselves if it is truly because it is the easy way out....sometimes I just get so caught up...I forget.....but through the support of others...I get back on center and I am grateful for it truly is a blessing. Gail
 
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