Hello Sundra Ann,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. It isn't easy but you must know that you are not alone. Unfortunately, there are thousands and more of family caregivers who are finding themselves in situations like yours.
I can tell you one thing, the more your focus your thoughts on fear and lack, the more you will remain in this situation. We are not licensed to tell you what to do in terms of your husband and relationship in terms of remaining in the marriage.
I would encourage you to seek out a therapist who can assist you in making some of these big decisions.
One of the most important things is for you to focus on everything that is happening in your life for a reason. Focus on gratitude as it begins to shift your negative energy and fears into a more positive situation. In spite of where you feel you are, there are many things to be grateful for. I know this is not what you may want to hear but it is vitally important that you do so. In doing so, you will begin to find some peace and calm that can help you to make wiser, more informed decisions as to the direction you need to go in.
I do not know where you are located but there are volunteers through Faith in Action and your area on aging agencies that can assist you with providing volunteers. When your mom has been in hospice and they have sent her home, have you every spoken with a social worker, to ask if she could be placed directly into a nursing home because of your own health issues and the need for you to work? Is your mother being hospiced from home? Perhaps, you can begin by calling the social worker in the hospice program and ask her what your options are.
I do hope this helps.
Richest blessings in all you are doing.