Hi Jane and Barb:
Thank you so much for your input. It all helps, believe me. I know right now I am somewhat anxious about finances in general.
Jane, I have a twin brother and, surprisingly enough, I seem to feel the least anger against him. But, when he comes to visit on his way through town on a business trip, I lay awake for hours with this big mad knot in my chest. It is strange. Now my sisters, I am openly angry against. Irregardless, I put on a good face for one and bring the bullet-proof vest out for the other - one is quietly underhanded and the other is vicious and scary. They have a tighter bond than my twin brother and I. Family dynamics - the mental/emotional work is just much too much!
Barb, you hit the nail on the head when you said "I'm about ready for a nervous breakdown". That is my fear also. The last thing any of us needs are more hoops to go through. Who has extra time or patience for hoops? I have lost it once this year already over the phone trying to just "take care of dad".
And we do this out of love. We are expected to do this for nothing. My eldest sister is quite well-to-do and she contributes next to nothing willingly. My brother buys vacation homes and remodels them yet will not help maintain his own father's home. The middle sister just sticks her nose into dad's checkbook and picks fights. And then they all bury their selfish heads in the sand.
I guess this is what truly relates to my medicaid question. I feel backed into a corner to look at government programs. And I don't know if it's worth it. I have heard medicaid pays caregivers but just a pittance. As for prescriptions it isn't worth it because I took dad off all prescriptions. One cleaning lady a week might be worth it however. However, if I had a cleaning lady here, I could probably find time to work out of the home...
So, I try to hold it all together hoping there are no new devastating surprises. I am going to school part-time and now have almost $50,000 debt in student loans to pay off in the future. So, the pressure builds up and I can hardly handle any more at this point. My dad is the easiest part of the whole picture...
God Bless, Glenda
[This message has been edited by glenderella (edited 07-16-2005).]