Hi Mimi, Cinnamon and Jane:
Well, the attorney did do some paperwork which gave my dad a life estate and me a quit-claim on the property. (Thank you for bringing that up cinnamon.) While dad was on hospice, I imagined myself on the streets with two dogs, two cats (mind you, I moved in with no pets) plus my son who was back with me after staying with my middle sister in Louisiana after dad�s hip/home invasion ordeal.
Just two months prior to the cancer and hospice ordeal, I overheard my middle sister talking to a friend about how she could hardly wait until �I was out on the streets�. That definitely gave me a clue as to my future and so I finally protected myself and dad too. That was when I first came to the message boards and to empowerment.
Moreover, the attorney asked me if I wanted to notify my siblings with regards to the house, life estate, POA etc. I said no. Long story short � why bother telling them anything! They certainly don�t include me in their discussions about dad. Besides, I don�t want his last years to be filled with sibling disputes.
Mimi, for a long time I felt obliged to communicate with my oldest sister but now find so many other things that I can do instead. It actually makes me feel liberated to ignore them all and they don�t know what to make of it.
Jane, like you, I am sandwiched between generations. I have my son to help me out and have come to appreciate the extra time I have been given with both him and my father. He was 19 when dad got hurt and about to start college. Instead, he was shuffled off to Louisiana with my evil sister and she was abusive to him. (I really learned about siblings the hard way.) Now he has pretty much his own living area downstairs and has been working hard helping out this last year. I am also gently guiding him towards a business plan.
And a big benefit is that I can get a break if only for a few hours at a time. And, as dad gets older, there is no way I can handle him all alone. My siblings? I imagine they will drag me to court after all is said and done. It's been a rocky road for sure. But now with the support system here and therapy, I am getting stronger and smarter. Meanwhile, I can't help but think that, in spite of it all, these are the best years of my life...
Love to Y'all, Glenda