So far so good is what I can say
Whenever ma tries the guilt trip thing, I shut it down by telling her I don't appreciate this and this, and I will simply ignore these kinds of messages in future. Showing that she actually is quite lucid and knows what she is doing, her next message completely changes in tone and intention. Amazing.
She sms'd last night asking me how much I spend exactly to keeping her there. So I gave her the list and a total. She was shocked... then came back saying isn't that too much to pay since all she has is a 1/4 of a room, and has to chicken everyday. (not entirely true, I checked - they get large amounts of one type of food given to them for eg, and so they first use up the items that will expire first, like chicken, then use the rest... to my mother's eyes, its just seas of chicken...)
I replied that yes it is a lot, but compared to other places its not so bad, and this is the best I can afford. She hasn't come back yet after that. I do wonder though why she was asking - she either wants her pension given to her to spend as she feels, or she is pushing again to leave to come stay with me again. Which is not going to happen. It is interesting that she is finally asking how much it all is though.
Just knowing for certain that I am already doing the best i can possibly do for my mother is a huge weight off my mind, my perspective on things has changed so nicely, I actually feel way more happy!