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Reply to "squished into the sandwich generation"

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I am 38, married with one 5 yr. old daughter. I care for my mother who lives in a basement apartment in my small house. She is 67 and still fairly independent (she feeds/bathes/dresses herself). My mother moved in with us the year we got married (10 years ago) - so as you can imagine, living with my mother for my entire married life has put its stresses on the marriage.

My biggest problem is that my mother now requires a LOT of my time (mostly for doctor's visits, organizing her schedule, dealing with her never-ending neuroses, etc...) My husband and I both work full time (hubby works two full time jobs and is going to school for his masters) and I have a 5yr. old to take care of. Every time I have to take my mom to the doctor (at least 5 doctors a month - not including any extra tests, physical therapy, etc.) I have to take at least 2 hours off of work. I end up practically NEVER taking a lunch hour to make up for all the time I take off for this. I can't use up my sick/personal days because I need them for my daughter if she has to stay home due to illness or when the school has half days, etc.

Lately I've been feeling very angry towards her and "put out". It isn't her fault, I know and I try to stay focused on how difficult this is for HER, especially since she can't drive anymore so she doesn't go anywhere and that is really awful for her.

I'm an only child and have little support. My cousin does help out when he can, but sometimes it just isn't enough.

I am now faced with having to get mom to physical therapy 3 days a week. There is just no way I can do this!! No way. I applied for a handicap bus service and now they tell me I have to bring her in for a 15 minute verbal interview. I would have to take a half a day off from work to do this - I just can't do that!! And of course, they don't have appointments on the days my cousin is off from work so I can't ask him to take her (he absolutely would have).

AAAAHHH - I'm so stressed!! I just can't believe there isn't more help out there available. Geez.

Sorry for rambling... I'm very happy to have found a place to "vent". I have no one to talk to about this.

Thank you all for "listening".