How nice of you to be thinking of me Vicki. That is so comforting to know others care about me. Frankly I am feeling very depressed, and it's just not me to feel so depressed even going through hell. I used to be the kind of person to laugh in the devil's face, but it is getting the best of me now. No word from either potential job yet. My children are managing to be happy, but that has more to do with my friend than with me. Being out of work and home is about as hard as it's gotten for me. I know I can probably get a job as a waitress the same day I apply, but I want better than that, though at a good establishment it would be fine for the time being. Not only do I hvae to get a job and find a decent place to live with my kids but I also need to start pursuing an education, though I do like what Gail said about my suggestion of becoming a croupier. I am glad she liked that idea and it is always in the back of my mind now. At least a croupier can dress up which I like and the clientele is usually upper scale though you do get the working stiffs trying to make something more of their paychecks and there is also skill involved and the schooling for that would be on a fast track and I am comfortable being around people. Right now I feel I have to get on anti-depressants to want to feel like enjoying life again, and I don't like giving my children the impression I don't enjoy their company cause I certainly do but just can't show it the way they are used to seeing it.
Just down, but I am so glad you inquired Vicki. It is a definite lift. My kids are so sweet, so understanding, though my daughter does act too grown up for her age at times which is irritating. My friend and I took them out this afternoon to go have ice-cream cones and that was the high point in my day seeing them so excited. Well Vicki, you are such an angel as most are here. I feel so alone, wish I had a good mate, but I am just dreaming. I would probably end up with having a nightmare again. I do notice that things do seem to get better by praying, so I will continue to do that. I think being a parent is also being a caregiver, there are caregivers who take care of someone ill and other caregivers trying to keep someone healthy, and that is what I am desperately trying to do, to provide a healthy environment for myself and my adorable children. Well, dinner time now, not that I am hungry but I should at least go to the table and maybe do a bit of nibbling.
Thanks Vicki for thinking of me. You are a doll! and you know what kind of doll I mean and don't mean
I know there is another Barbara here who goes by Barb, so I will just use Barbi, but don't mistake me for that Playboy bunny Barbi, ok?