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I wrote in an earlier post that I didn't understand why I was so calm. I know now that is the bodys way of preparing for what's ahead.

It's been 5 weeks. I went grocery shopping(my large order) for the first time since Mom's death. It was tough passing the M&M'S( her favorite) and not getting them for her. Or the puddings that she was eating so many of. I stood in the store and cried....a couple different times.....

I read artnut's post about the feeling of erasing your loved one, that's exactly what it feels like.....when you do that first load of laundry after and their clothes are in it, the first time you go to the pharmacy and you don't have to pick up their meds.

I hear a song on the radio and I cry.

She was just can she be gone!!!!!

The days are so long now. I have no energy. I should be cleaning but I don't feel like it. I should be doing my exercising but I don't feel like it.

I try to put on a happy face and do all the normal things you're "supposed" to do but I don't want to.

This has been a bad week for me.
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