Wonderful e-mail. One thing age bring to us is wisdom, doesn't it. It still isn't easy but I liked very much what you said. This thread has really helped me. I tend to post here when I'm down and this is so helpful. On the surface most people think I am the cheerleader. If only they knew. The bummer thing is I don't really have anyone in my family I could discuss these things with, anyway. Plus, I really, really don't think anyone really deep down cares what I think either b/c they are so into their lives. Seriously.
This morning has been tough. My aunt's passing is hard for me and I know more so for Dad and my mom. My Dad is the oldest of his 4 siblings. The pain is there on their faces. My aunt lost her daughter in 2001 which is another whole story. She was my cousin closest in age. Now I am the oldest cousin on my Dad's side.
Today, I'm feeling a little down. I wrote my Dad's other sister an e-mail saying how sorry I was but she didn't reply. I really shouldn't expect her to - she was very close to her sister and I know this is so hard for her. Then I wrote my Uncle and his wife - they live in the same retirement center as my aunt who passed. No reply. I know it is silly for me to feel this way but I do. Sometimes just a quick thanks for your thoughts is so meaningful. I just don't get it. Maybe their notes will come later. I shouldn't expect it and I don't but it still hurts.
As I was getting ready to do go out of town today, my Dad came to me and said he thought he could help me by giving me his advice on selling my home. He had a look of pride on his face. I could barely talk. I had just told him I woke up with a bad headache. Still he went on and felt he could share some of his experiences with selling a home. I do give him credit for trying to word it kindly. Never mind the fact, I've sold 2 homes before on my own. I told him I was just trying to get the things done today that I needed to do w/o considering the realtor contract sitting in the kitchen. He seemed hurt and walked away. I felt bad but he tells me what to do all the time. I wish he would just let me be. This is what makes our living arrangement so very, very hard. I can't discuss anything with him w/o him telling me his thoughts which are always different than mine. Oh how wonderful it would be if only I got an "that sounds good or that sound right" from him. It would be so pleasant to have someone just listen. Parents should only offer advice when asked.
Then my granddaughter called (I was planning to take her with me as I have to go out of town to my property in another city.) She asked when are we going? I said about 11 AM. She said that was too late and she wanted to go earlier. She went on and on with her whining. She is almost nine so I have to consider her age. I almost started crying. Can't someone just be OK with what I say or do??? Is there something wrong with me??? It would have been so nice to have taken my granddaughter's call and hear her say. Mimi, I am happy we are going to be together today and just left it at that.
Well, I better go ready. I pray for the strength to be a caring and giving person w/o feeling sad or disappointed when others hurt me.
Mimi of 4