Thank you so much for the quick responses and support. The nurse we talk to said she would probably not have chemotherapy. A cousin who has had breast cancer said "How can they possibly say that before they have looked at the tumor?" I am wondering if that, plus the fact that they have been conducive to waiting so long to do the surgery, are their way of letting nature take it's course. That maybe the medical team is thinking that perhaps she won't survive until the operation and then won't have to go through this. Not sure how I feel about that, although if that is what they are thinking, it is probably a compassionate decision.
I tend towards removing the whole breast and just get rid of it, but I know this is a highly personal decision, which I would hate to make for someone else. After all, it is easy for me to say, since it isn't part of my anatomy. I wonder if we should go with her first reaction, that it may have been the correct one. I just don't know. I guess I would rather have the higher risk of the cancer returning than have her live longer and be miserable.