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Reply to "mother diagnosed with cancer"

Dear Bridget

I felt so strongly when reading your post that I must reply. My Mom was diagnosed in Sept 2005 with breast cancer. She is 89 and suffers from a multitude of illnesses, heart disease, lung disease, diabetes to name a few. She also has some dementia, although she comprehends most things (and then some days can not remember much of anything). When the cancer was found, it was in the Emergency Room where she had been taken after a breathing problem.The doctor was very kind and recommended we do nothing as Mom could not have the biopsy or the surgery due to her fragile condition. Chemo was not likely to help and would worsen her other conditions. Like you, everyone I told felt that she has had a good life and as one put it, "she is old and what do you expect". I agonized about what to do, and then Mom's family doctor came over to talk to us (he actually makes house calls). He said he would let nature take its course as many times this is common in older women and is just not found.However he did tell us he would treat the cancer in any patient that could tolerate the treatment. It is never easy to make life and death decisions for our loved ones, but the one thought that has kept me going is one I learned from a very dear friend (she is a nurse)and it is that any decison you make out of love for your Mom will never be the wrong one. There is no right or wrong choice in this situation, if you let your heart be your guide.One final note, Mom stil has not shown any ill effects from the cancer (the tumor was small). I did not mean to ramble on, but I did want to share my experience with you.
My prayers are for you and your Mom.

Vicki
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