I wish I had answers for you about anger and the siblings. I am going through what you have experienced. I have two sisters and one, I haven't spoken to in two years and the other, well, we speak, but her significant other doesn't speak to me. Mom lives with them and he doesn't think I am doing my share. Because of this, our family has basically fallen apart. My mom's friends call me for updates on my mom and one of her friends told me if my mom knew that her daughters weren't speaking, it would kill her. Yeah, believe me, I get that. I tried to get them to go to see a therapist with me, and the one that I haven't spoken to in two years refuses, so there's not much I can do. I realize many, many families go through this. It is very stressful and yes, I have anger issues too. The only way I know how to deal with it is to try to put it out of my mind. I just try not to think about it. Robin, as you probably know, stress and anger only ends up hurting us, causing health issues, so we are best off trying to let go of it.
I wish you well,