I spent 10 years working as an activity director in a long term nursing home. It is a little world all in its own. I as activity director talk to the resident a great deal. We talk of death and the passing of some of their friends. We started a memory day when a resident passed. We would take a wreath with a black ribbon it and place it on the resident bed. Other resident wanted to go in and pay their respect to their friend that had passed. The nursing staff was very upset with me for starting this memory day. I told the nurses that the resident said that they all knew when one of their friends had passed. They stated it hurt them that everyone wanted to just act like nothing had happened. They felt it made them feel like they did not matter. Like it was just expected and it was no big thing. I thought it was very healthy for them to be allowed to grieve. My memory day lasted for a few short months then was stopped by nursing because they did not want to grieve. It was just too hard for them to deal with.
Grieving is allowing oneself to accept the loss and honor the love.
Grieving is allowing oneself to remember and honor the memory.
Grieving is allowing oneself to let go of one hand and take hold of oneself.