I think it might be good to sit down and talk with your husband if you can. I can only imagine that he is afraid and angry at this point... Do not take what your hubby says to heart. Realize that it is, as you say, not him talking but the pain,the anger and the fear in him coming out. However, you, too, are hurting and possibly even exhausted at this point...
But, it might help if you can sit down and talk to him about how you are feeling. It is okay to cry and cry and cry about it all. Let him know your sadness and where you are at in the journey is the saddest time of all. Speak to him from your heart and let him know how much you have loved him for the past 35 years. Forgive him for hurting you as he has...
I am not saying this to sound as if I am preaching or anything. I am saying to do this for you. You will feel better and, since he may be gone from you sometime in the near future, it will help to let him go without words unspoken.
Here are a couple of articles that may help you during this time:
I hope that these articles help a little bit. In the meanwhile, do take care of yourself... Do not push yourself with a pulled muscle right now. Remember this is a holiday weekend... So, start by taking it off and do not jump and run after anything. Get yourself a cup of hot chocolate and perhaps find a good book to read. You need to also take care of YOU!
Love and Hugs from Glenda