My gosh! are we related? I know first hand how you are feeling. My Mother died at my home at 6:12am. By 8:00am, I lost my Father and my brother. By the time my sister got here from Cleveland, say 3 hours later, I lost her too. For 3 years, I have driven myself crazy over this. They have appointed themselves, judge, jury and sentencing committee. I have never heard so many negative adjectives in my life that 1st day. All because I stepped up and cared for my Mother. Lol, heck, my Dad was 90 at the time, my sister lives in Cleveland and my brother would step over you rather than lend a hand. My sister planned the entire funeral! She planned the services, the meal afterwards. Then got pissed at me for bringing home a plant or 2 that 'my friends' had sent. I was also handed the funeral home guest book which she had a tizzy over. She sent my brother over and he and my hubby got nose to nose, so I called the cops! Ok, forward 3 years, Dad is now 94 next month and I have seen him, maybe 3x since losing Mom. I am not notified when he is in the hospital or anything. My brother now is on diaysis 3x a week for diabetes. And my sister runs around making sure the whole world knows that she is doing some cooking, cleaning and errands for the men. This is after she had a 6 month stay in some retreat home. Oh, by the way, did I mention that my sister is a CATHOLIC NUN? Hows that for a kick in the fanny??!!??
Well, after 3 years of stupid games, I have finally decided to take care of ME! Do I think of them? Sure! Do I feel some guilt that the next time I see my Dad, he will be horizontal in a casket? BINGO! But,ya know what? THEY MADE THEIR BEDS AND NOW HAVE TO LAY IN IT!!!! Yes, I am sure my Mothers heart has broken a million times since she passed. That was her wish, for us to take care of each other and get along. I always told her, nice dream but not reality. I choose no longer to look in the past, nor the future. All we have is right now. And I CHOOSE not to sit back and let any of them hurt me anymore.Notice that keyword, CHOOSE.
If and when they decide to be decent towards me, I will reciprocate. Till then, ke sera sera, what ever will be will be, the futures not mine to see ke sera sera. Plink, anytime you want, e mail me. I am so sure we have so much to talk about. Till then, just know you are loved and appreciated by all of us!!