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Reply to "I've lost my whole family..............."

{{{Dear Patty}}}

I must confess that this is not my first response to your posting (it is now my third). The first two were just too terrible to put out on the web... Siblings are my most sensitive subject!

We, who love our parents and feel an obligation to keep them cherished and nourished, pay the ultimate price... I know you miss your mother dearly Patty and she loved you dearly too! Are the sibs jealous of the closeness you had? Or could it be guilt? Whatever it is, we are not responsible for their ignorance and/or neglect. Jane is so right in what she is saying about their shame and embarrassment... and also about honestly communicating with them if you can...

My own inexperience with the ability to be assertive and family dynamics have caused me such pain... I have a twin brother who I have not felt close to for a long, long time. We don't have the normal bonding that twins typically have. He is the only son and his neglect of dad is unforgivable!!! And of course I have two evil older sisters (did the name glenderella give that away???) After dad passes on, I am pretty sure that I will go back to our previous relationship of "no contact" with them. They will hate me dearly because dad has given me the home - they don't know this because we don't communicate! All of them live out of state but they want the money out of it! The thing is that the house is like a big rock around my neck!!! I love it and yet feel chained by it... I will sell it the moment it is in shape to sell (when dad no longer needs it). I cannot live with the memories for much longer than I have to!!!

I think, perhaps, your siblings (like mine) have no idea of how we feel or what we are going through. We have watched our parents age, suffer and go downhill to the point of anguish and loss. Our siblings, perhaps, are in denial about their feelings and if they do talk to us, well, then they may have to acknowledge some truths... I am sure that I am babbling here too, but know that we love you Patty. You have been an example and a guide to us here sharing your loving care for your beautiful mother. Don't feel alone and please do not feel badly. It most likely isn't a personal thing on your siblings part... Love and Hugs to You Patty!!!


[This message has been edited by glenderella (edited 03-17-2006).]
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