Hi Westerngirl, Wow, more long distance caregivers. Oooops, excuse me,care-talkers I mean. Sounds as though you are in the same situation as I was a few years back. I hospiced my Mom, at my home, paid all her expenses,had holiday dinners for the entire family, only to have my Dad and my older sister (who by the way is a Catholic Nun) and I guess she has MD after her name too. She questioned EVERYTHING!!! I could have handled that but If I ever in my life hear " well, I think you should" I will hurt that person. LOL! She lived in Cleveland, and wanted control over everything going on here. Well, I got caller ID and it helped, she still showed up too often at my house and told me what to do, how to do it ect. Well, all that is h2o under the bridge, as my Mom has passed away over 3 years ago, and the Dear ole nun ran the funeral and everything since then. I also let her run my 94 year old Dads affairs, house, cleaning, cooking, medical affairs, and did I mention her 58 year old diabetic, on diaysis 3X weekly, lazy brothers problems too? Trust me, I do not tell her what to do, how to do it, in fact, I do not talk to any of them anymore! Hey,she is no longer 'Bettye Crocker- big talker. She is trying to fill my shoes as a caregiver and she will never do it. You are doing a fine job and you can tell the others to 'put up or shut up'. Caregiving made me a much stronger person and I no longer feel as though I must please everyone else. My Mom was happy and that is all that matters. just do it your way!!!!!!