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Reply to "I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!"

Hi willie...
I am sorry things have not improved...and so sorry you are going through this alone...
Correct me if I am wrong but from your last post my impression is that you have yet to get over the...reality(?)...of what is happening to your mother. And yes, unfortunately the harsh realities of some illnesses are most unpleasant...and extremely hard to deal with. Your mother, whom has always "looked out" for you is now incapable of that, and the "role reversal" is never easy. It is probably one of the hardest things you will face, and in your case not made any easier by your anxiety or panic attacks. I feel for you...I wish there was something I could say to make it all better. Is there a therapist or counsellor that you can get together with including your mother, perhaps even her doctor and someone from her home that looks after that all of this can be talked out?
Maybe also a trusted clergyperson? Where you can be honest about what is bothering you , also mentioning your own problems? They may not be able to do much to alleviate your fears, etc, but it might help you and calm you to know you have explained everything to others. Some might go the extra mile to just relieve you of a bit of the daily stress, maybe spending a little time with your mother, leaving you with a bit more "free" time. If so....use this time to relax, get in touch with your feelings, cry, laugh, just get it all out.
And please keep posting here..
We all know what you are going through and want to see you through it...
Take care...