I can tell that you are really discouraged. But, do you know, often when we are completely at the end of our rope, we reach the time when we look at what was formerly not considered because it was too much trouble, too expensive, or we just didn't want to do so. I have often been so down and discouraged about something with the problem chasing around and around in my head. I found that if I could step completely out of the problem: (read a book,
watch TV that I really enjoyed, rent a video, go out with friends); then I could come back to it with a clearer perspective. I would come back to the problem and find a new idea for dealing with it. This works for me, not for everyone, and most of the time, not everytime. Just a suggestion for one thing to try. Although, I am praying
that soon you will get rested and think of an idea of your own that will fit better for your lifestyle.
Remember, God's spirit is within 'YOU'
and find a quiet spot and ask his help. I pray that you have hit bottam and are on the uphill side of your journey now. I wish I could give you a hug so you know how much I sympathize with you.