I am truly sorry to hear that you are going through so many ups and downs. Unfortunately, it is not unusual for caregivers to have to go through these emotional upheavals. I think Prairie Gal has given you some wize feedback.
It is true that we begin taking our parent's responsibilties personally. I, myself have been going through this with my mother. It is important to get the counseling you have reached out for... and it is equally important for you to understand that you mom may not be doing this directly to hurt you. By standing strong and confident in who you are as a person, you may begin to understand that you no longer have to have things be a certain way with your mother. You do the best that you can. If her actions are not what you would like them to be, it is up to you to adjust... she may be powerless to something that is going on physically or mentally and even emotionally inside on a physiological level that has not yet been diagnosed by a doctor. She may also be going through emotional traumas that she cannot express or is not in touch with either.
the most important lesson as a caregiver, and I would venture to say as a daughter is to love your parent unconditionally, with the understanding that they are doing the best that they are capable of in the moment, even though we don't feel they are. We only really have control over ourselves... we do not have the power to change another individual... so the shifts and changes must come from within... from our own personal attitude and how we handle it. Finding the humor in her calling and being able to laugh at it instead of being so caught up in it is so important... there are many who frequent the boards who have been through this experience... surrendering and not trying to change and control them is the most important thing you can learn at this time. Compassion helps us to heal and open more to love... love is the most important healing power of all...
please keep us posted... and for the future, please try to keep all your posts in the same topic area so that others who respond can see what has transpired prior to the most recent responses.
In love & light