I am sure it is more difficult with a spouse to get them to accept help. For example, with my father, I have a girlfriend (whom I met while her agency was providing hospice care for dad) come in and help. He tolerates her...
However, I think it is wise to make plans to provide for care for your husband now while he is stable. Introducing someone into his life (as you know already with the cleaning lady) takes time and patience. But, hold your ground.
Also, have you ever considered getting him care outside of the home? Here is a link to an article about Adult Day Care:
That is just another alternative to in-home care... I am not sure how feasible it is in your situation. But, I do know that hubby needs to understand that you will be no good to him if you get overstressed and ill. Explain gently to him that you need help. If he is not receptive at the moment then let it go and broach the subject again later in a gentle, loving manner. Let hubby know that you are thinking of his best interests and health. Be persistent with regards to the subject and consistently gentle with his interests in mind as your guiding force.
It is not easy to persuade another to accept help from others. Especially when you have other issues to contend with. But, you must take care of yourself as well and take steps now... My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby - best of luck to you Papagena.
Love and Hugs from Glenda