Margaret, I have a brother too, however he cares nothing about our mom! The only time he comes or calls is when he needs money. After years of being angry and not understanding why, I have learned that the why is not important. What is important is that we are making our parents happy and doing the best that we can, and that we are doing what is good for us. It is your brothers loss. My mom has the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and my sons are able to see her every day if the can ( she lives with us and the" boys" are 18 & 20) my brother and his family who live less than 10 minutes away haven't seen her since last May! She nearly died in Dec. and they didn't bother to come to see her. Just know that you are a terrific person, and that you are reaping the benefits of helping your parents, whether your mom knows it or not!