Unfortunately, what you are experiencing with your brother is not uncommon for caregivers. Most of us have a story to tell...my brother simply can't cope with any family problems. Although he is a dentist and his wife is a nurse they were not there for mom and I when we were caregiving my father. The only reason he came up to see dad was because he would want his children to do the same for him when it is his time
It seems that there is always one child who faces and handles the challenge and role of caregiver on their own. We are the ones that can do it best or God wouldn't have given us the challenge ...and it is also a gift as well, because tremendous healing takes place for the caregiver and the one they are caring for.
There are some wonderful support groups and chat rooms for Alzheimers in particular online. If you need some info on them, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will help you to find some of the areas.
Also, although it is difficult to place our parent in a home, it is often necessary so that we can be freed to be even better in our role. There comes a point when you can no longer provide the proper care and you must learn to let go... Perhaps you can get some counseling offline as well to help you adjust through this period of time as well.
Let me know how I can support you.
In Love & Light,