I've been a bit 'lost' these past little while. So much stuff happening I can barely keep up. I'm still 'processing' the death of my mother, and asking alot of hard question, of myself and strangely of her - even though she can't answer them.
Hubby is in a lot of pain, but coping like the courageous man he is. I was worried about taking on caregiving again. I thought I may become resentful and angry all over again, I thought it would be a real struggle for me. Instead - I have experienced the fulfilling feeling of caregiving that I never felt before. I actually feel priviledged to take care of him. We are drawing ever closer because of this experience. While he was in hospital for the surgery and afterwards, i went every afternoon just to be with him. after the surgery he was still extremely groggy and I just sat there being near him while he slept. I was so glad when he could come home.
it will be at least 3 months of helping him with almost everything, and I know that by the time he doesn't need my help with everything anymore I'll probably miss it a little bit.
It's a very different and wonderful feeling. Not that I can compare my mother to my husband. He shows appreciation every day, he is more concerned about my wel lbeing than of his own. He hates being an invalid but is incredibly grateful that I am willing and able to be his hands during this time.
It is truly a learning experience for me. One I am very grateful for.