You don't sound selfish at all. I think we'll always feel that we want our Moms back. And it hurts knowing that all those wonderful things we shared with them just won't ever happen again. It's something we'll be working through on a daily basis. Which for me can be very difficult at times.
When I'm having a melt down, I think of you too and say a prayer for both of us that we'll be given strength to get through the rough times.
When my Dad died, I dreamed about him all the time. I have yet to remember a dream with my Mom in it. I know she's right where she wanted to be and I have to learn to be okay with her leaving. It's what she would want.
I hope you have a good day.