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Reply to "Grief Support"

Jackie - my heart goes out to you. I know the loss you are feeling. My Mom passed February 24th of this year and I too am having a difficult time moving forward.

I too have problems falling and staying asleep. I hate my day to end and I hate mornings. I can't get going before 9:30 a.m. and I relate that to caregiving for my Mom and that would be the time that I had her all settled and could then turn my attention to myself. I used to get so frustrated, but for now, I just give into it.

Look at what your life was the past year and realize you are going through a multitude of changes and my dear, you can only do one thing at a time! Try to pick just one single thing to take that baby step forward. Don't rush and don't be so hard on yourself. Some days will be okay, some will be just horrible. But that strong woman is still in you, just in another place trying to heal.

The empty feeling you have is normal. You may feel sometimes as if you lost a part of your life too because hers was intertwined with yours. And when you think of that aspect, how very precious that must have been. If you were the main caregiver, I'm sure you had precious moments with her. And in physically caring for her, as hard as that may have been for you, how special that bond must have been. That's why we hurt so much Jackie. They were our Moms. They probably were the only people on earth that loved us unconditionaly.

I don't know if you had the help of Hospice. My sister and I did and I have used their grief counselor a few times and have found that helpful. I've found in talking to people about how you feel, they immediately want to tell you their story (if I've done that, I'm sorry). Sometimes you need someone to just listen. It helps to get those painful memories out and be affirmed. This site too is a great place to let it all out. Many gentle people will listen and embrace you!

Now I feel like I'm rambling, but I guess we do because of this whole process we're going through.

All I can say is take your time. Your feelings are real and proper and be gentle on yourself.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers,
Chris
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