Thank you so much for responding. Today Mother has a new area of pain, this time between and beneath her breasts. At shower time tonight she was had better control of her movement, but she has lost MORE WEIGHT since I last helped her bath on Thursday. Her radiation is not a "curing" effort, it is considered "palliative", Lord I think I spelled that right, I never wanted to know how to spell that word as it applies to life these days. It doesn't matter who told us what (The oncologist said "Noboby can give numbers, everyone is different") but then she proceeded to tell my mother that there was a 50/50 chance that chemotherapy would help prolong her life and/or relieve any pain
Six to twelve months with no chemo, then (I know I said this before but, twelve, to eighteen to twenty-four months with chemotherapy). I know Jesus and he has been revealing some things to me as clearly as if they were spoken aloud!! All we had was the small cell diagnosis, no test results of metastis. I awoke, went searching on cancer websites (I've only been internet literate since January/February of this year) I found everything I was supposed to find, in the physician's version or I call it the raw facts which said six to fourteen weeks after the initial diagnosis if the small cell is extensive. The minute I saw those numbers the Lord spoke to me "That is for your baby sister". Of course she didn't say anything the next morning in the hallway when I told her and my brother "Moma ain't long for this world, and Sister the Lord needs you to know six to fourteen weeks. I hope I'm wrong but I'm discerning too many things that are frightening me and things I don't want to know, for it not to be the Lord". His presence was so real and I felt so strong even with this knowledge. That was when it was being revealed, I'm whimping out from time to time now, but only to my husband, brother and the Lord. I told my Dad today that I would call Hospice, but that Medicare wouldn't pay for Hospice until her doctor wrote a statement saying she has six months or less to live. I said, "Dad you and I know that six months is about right if that" he kind of interrupted me and said, "I just want to know what they have to offer about the pain medicine". Of course that $475.00 prescription is an issue, but he said he was afraid she would get into some pain that he wouldn't be able to get relieved. The first thing he said when I walked through the door today was, "She has NEW PAIN in her breast and chest area". Bless his heart, SHE IS THE CAREGIVER IN THAT HOUSE, he has never even offered to rub her back in years past if she complained of some little strain (AND SHE WOULD NEVER ASK HIM). He loves her with his whole heart and she loves him with hers. They just have this "Old timey" relationship to a fault. She doesn't want to "worry" him and he doesn't want to "worry" her. It's kind of silly and Oh, so sweet, my Moma and Daddy have been loving each other for nearly FIFTY YEARS. Now the tears are flowing, but I know it's good to let them flow, I have a need to let them flow. Okay, now that I've gone on and on I want your opinion. My Mother knows she won't be here in six months, should we go on and try to get hospice involved since her pain is so severe and seems to be springing up on a daily basis in new places? I just don't want her to hear SIX MONTHS or READ SIX MONTHS TO LIVE. Is is wrong or do you think that would kind of be a relief, this is tough stuff. I know all the experts say tell them the truth, but the oncologist didn't.
Thanks for your reply.