Jamie, I am so sorry. I hope that you and your family can find some relief.
I know what you are going through.
My Mom has been living with me for 3 years now. she is end stage COPD and CHF. My oldest brother has only seen her 4 times since she has been here. I have a sister who has seen her maybe six times.
They offer no help, no support whatsoever.
So you see you are not alone.
You can not make anyone do something that they do not want to do, believe me I have tried.
I think sometimes it is best to even stop trying and just do what you need to do for your loved one.
Come here and vent. It does help.