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Dad's so weak

My father amazes me. He is barely 100lbs, his thighs are the size of my forearms and he tries so hard to get up. Sometimes he can sit up by himself, others not. His diapers constantly wet from the fluid pills and fluid intake. I still wheel him into the kitchen and he can sit only about 10 min. or less. Some days he can eat, other's not. Hospice was in today to give him his bed bath, change sheets, etc. It's 2:58AM, he just woke me because he was soaked. I feel so bad for him. His will is stronger than I have ever seen. For that I am thankful. His Pacemaker/ICD shocked him bad again twice the other day. The Hospice nurse i called said she did not know what to do about that. My father has not signed the DNR, so i called ER doc and he said not much to do any more but give him more morphine. I did. Poor man. I am exhausted. It's sad. he keeps on trying. He hardly wants to watch TV either. I can't get him outside either. he's to weak for fresh air. Some days he's real sweet to me, other's not. but hec, so am I.
Sue

[This message has been edited by Notenoughhours (edited 07-06-2005).]
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