Gracenhope and Seba, thanks for your comments.
It was a long time before we decided to take charge of our lives, rather than just deal with what came up. The turning point came when we looked into the future and could not seen anything different for many years or the rest of our lives.
Our decision may not be for everybody. but. everybody should have the right to try and have some peace and meaning in their lives.
This by no means frees you of the responsibility you have to your spouse's for their care and well being.
As most of you know and feel, that after so many years of care giving, the relationship changes from caring for your spouse to one of caring for a relative or friend that you care about. We finally got an understanding of this while reading so many posts on this and other care giver boards.
So, peace and happiness go with all you deserving care givers, where ever you may find it.
Love to you all
Sue and Dave