Sue and Dave,
I just read your postings. In the midst of each of your trials, you have found a bit of respit and light in your situations. Being a caregiver is so all-consuming, it feels like you've been stripped of your individuality and identity. You never have stopped being you - but your circumstances demand that you become "Super Caregiver". I agree with the comment posted that you don't want to tell your respective spouses. I don't think they'll understand and it won't add anything but grief. just pray for guidance. I am of the old school - if you're married, you're married. The path that opens up once you've had sex is difficult, and adds a new set of emotions and problems. Tread carefully with this one. Maybe I'm out of line on this part, but you have so much on your plate now. The sex adds another plate! God bless you both - I'm glad you have found someone you can share with, cry with and feel for!