Thanks Gail and Prairiegal for your comments.
Neither of us feels guilty, we both know we have done our best for our spouses. Both
marriages are our first and only marriages, over 40 years. Both marriages have been
good, but the last 10 years have been difficult and exhausting for both of us. My husband
was left paralyzed on one side after the stroke and he refused to put any effort in to rehab, as
a result nursing home was the only answer.
My friend's wife has emphysema, diabetes and neuropathy. Oxygen full time and can not
walk unassisted most of the time. She is already in assisted living, but at home, taken care
of by her husband. He is now getting some help so he can get out of the house sometimes.
We have decided not to discuss our relationship with our spouses, we do not believe either
one of our spouses would understand or be sensitive to our needs, we believe they would
only be hurt. We have decided however to talk to our children, two each, about our
relationship. And we are considering talking to some of our mutual friends.
Caregivers trying to cope