Glenda, I am so sorry that you have to go through this and alone is really hard. I went through a breavement group as hospice about 8 years ago and it was very helpful. They helped my girls also. You should go but when the time is right. No matter if you go or don't you still have to go through the mourning, which is the hard part. Everyone mourns differently also. Sorry to say that you have to go through the pain to get to the other side.
T&P and lots of hugs.