Oh Glenda: I knew something was just not right ---- your numbness ---- I'm so hurting for your pain. You now feel you have no one to talk to. Same road I'm going down with my Dad still here, and family abandoned. I have let go. Please seek out to the bereavement support group --- don't give in to being alone ----- reach out to a group of others "in person" that can come over to see your or visit with you. Please know we all love you and you have been through so much. God is always holding your hand ---- he will get you through. You have done so much for others --- it is now time for others to do for you. You can do this ----- Love & Prayers ... Vickie (It is so touching as your story with your Dad is so much like my own ----- yet even with all that ---- grief still takes hold of us). God Bless You ..... Reach out to "someone" --- the bereavement group is what I needed when my sister and Mom passed on --- if only I'd took that step ---- I might would have gotten better over the years. I did reach out to my church and made a good support system and my cousin after 40 years came into my life from childhood. God will provide a way!!! He never changes!