As I was reading on this topic, I realized that there is an element that wasn't mentioned and that is the possibility that refusal to take baths or showers may be because of the humiliation and somewhat "unnatural" discomfort that goes along with having one of your own family, especially your children, bathe you.
I know that with my own mom, this is an issue. Some families have different degrees of intimacy and different dynamics. I know that any contact with her very personal body parts by me just mortifies her.
She does a bit better with the aides.
There are even times when she will let a bad situation get worse to avoid having me deal with her in this way.
And let me be honest. I have an enormously difficult time with it myself. Not that I don't love my mother, but our relationship just doesn't lend itself to this.
In fact, if anyone has some advice on overcoming this, I would greatly appreciate it. I feel guilty about is alot, but it comes from both of us.