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Reply to "Anyone ever notice...."

Mimi:

So your sister FINALLY gets it????? In the care-giving role - I do NOT believe that people who are NOT full time care-givers - get it - period the end.

For example my Mother's Family Doctor and the secretary - when I call from being exhausted up for a few days in a row (well I do get 2-3 hours of sleep) - they just tell me I am doing a good job - and that my Mother would not do well anywhere but home. There are NO suggestions - on how to help or what to do - just that this is what I am supposed to be doing.

I asked her Doctor on NUMEROUS occasions can they send someone out - to help bath her once a week - NOPE - still NOTHING - she is "working on it" - I've asked for services that I haven't already explored - NOPE - there really isn't any avenue that I haven't tried. But still she tell me that my Mother would NOT survive in an Assisted Living Facility.

But your sister - is FAMILY - this is just an outsider - and I KNOW how angry the Doctors responses make me. Being an ONLY child for the LIFE of my I CANNOT figure out WHY people who actually do have family don't step up to the plate and assist. Why is the responsibility typically put on one person - with occasional help if that???? That I cannot understand.

Mimi - I understand your frustration - cause your sister does have YOU - to help her out. Granted she has the "daily" routine - but you are still always supporting her on the phone and on the weekends by going over there or taking your Mother out. Plus your Mother has an aide (which I know is a sore spot for your Mother & your sister's husband ) - but it is something.

Your anger is probably because when you were drowning - that nobody reached out a hand to help you - until your almost placed your Mother in a facility. Then your sister stepped in. Just out of curosity where is your other sister at? Maybe its her turn (well in 4 months) to take your Mom. LOL!!!!

I think I am just babbling - I really don't have any answers to be honest.

The funny thing is - that if a friend of mine was in the same situation that I am in - the answers what to do would be SOOOOOOOOOOOO CLEAR - cause there is NO emotion or knowledge attached. Outsiders just don't get it - but they do think they do and they are more than willing to give advice and wonder WHY you aren't doing this or that.

You are being a GREAT sister and support system - just hang in there - the anger will pass - hopefully placed by relief that she FINALLY GETS IT!!!!

Hugs and Happy Memorial Day Mimi -

Janet
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